A hex on you, a hex on you, and a hex on you... --Les Miserables
In order to truly graduate, you must fight the janitor! LET MORTAL KOMBAT BEGIN! --Mr. ?
Oooh ! Maybe he'll drive the stick into the ground and it'll rain Skittles !!!! --Bleech_
Hehehe, you buncha idiots! I got my GED a whole YEAR ago! And now I'm chief custodian, and you're all tryin' to catch up! ...hehe, buncha rejects! --Kurt L.
Herb's plans to brain the entire graduating class of Springfield Community College were foiled again... once again, he hadn't accounted for those pesky square hats! --Kurt L.
Your future is now! --Waldo
Every year the graduation procession went through the men's washroom...and every year Janitor Larry was on hand with the Golden Tongs, ready to snatch "latrine mints" from thieving hands. --A Grouch
From the vantage of her walker, Mrs.Grimson spied Evil Ed trying to hide in a crowd with her sod-trimmer. "You won't escape this time, " she cackled. --A Grouch
The ceremony was not complete until Roger violated each graduate with the Sceptre of Humility. --Samwise
Pomp, circumstance, and whack-a-mole. --flodnak
We took an ordinary mortarboard, and added the "crumple zone" technology found in many cars. Watch as Tom the angry janitor tests them with this heavy mace. --Withnail
and i'll get you and you...and you "Congratulations, Allison!" little bitch, and you and you'll die and you.... --Jenn Dolari
As the students are about to graduate they are given a powerful reminder of the value of education. --badlawyer
At DeVry you'll not only get an education, you'll get to meet this man! --badlawyer
"You. You dere! Vake up, or I wap dis t'ingie upside you head!" --Stealth
"Ah, to be young and full of hope for the future..." thought Alfred before commencing his fatal backscratching spree. --Stealth
Brian Murphy, Keeper of the Golden Spork --Ken
Ralph Peterson. Irmo High School, Columbia, South Carolina. from Neurotic, Giggling High School Janitors of the United States of America. --The Enigma
....and so Larry did what he did best. He stared. --The Enigma
Old and feeble in his last days, Lord Sarnak was reduced to wielding the Reflective Scepter of Superficial Lacerations --Sean Q (prodigal IADL captioner)
Graduating from High School is tough when your final exam is to avoid a drunken janitor wielding a Garden Weasel. --Riff
Ha! Those wacky Canucks!! --BAR-1
Never to be left out of the festivities, the local dental assitant program allows Gappy the janitor play Grand Marshal Gold Filling in this years graduation ceremony. --We're all gonna die...
Everyone else thought it'd be funny to hand the principal marbles, but Jenna presented him with a Lifelike Lovin' Abe Vigoda S&M Doll. --Cryptique
Stan, the Wizard Janitor of Hoboken, gripped his scepter and muttered his unholy incantation. Graduation was ruined when everyone's diploma turned into a roll of really scratchy toilet paper. --Talisker
Larry counts the women he hasn't surreptitiously ogled through the hole in the boiler room. "........................................................ Okay, there's one..." --Bad Girl
"And you'll spend five months of every year propping up social security for me! How does that make you feel?!" --Bad Girl
Beware, Oscar, Wiccan Elder, and graduate of the Butch Meyers school of janitorial studies. --AQUALUNG spelled with a "Y"
The sheer joy of holding the scepter allowed Milton to have one medication-free day per year. --Leaf
"All in all you're just another cheaply made, ugly plaster square in the wall." --Lots42@aol.com
In his later years, Moses was forced to take humiliating jobs emceeing graduations, bar mitzvahs, and birthday parties. He can be seen here turning the carpet into blood. --Phat Cheops
This looks like a job for...CAPTAIN MOLESTO! --Noonch
Edgar was anxious with anticipation as his sweating, trembling hands gripped his trusty gown lifting staff. This was the day he waited all year for. --I am Kirok
Grumpiest Old Men Yet: Burgess Meredith's corpse is disinterred and made to appear as if it's rattling off vulgar terms for female anatomy in various situations. The topless volleyball and pap smear scenes had me rolling on the floor. 2 stars. --crispy
Did her..... Did her..... Did... Aw, who the hell am I kidding? Did him.... Did him.... --Pastor of Muppets
No, it didn't keep the floors that clean. But nobody ever complained. Twice. --Horselover Fat
Due to the large number of graduates, and the limited time, Pervin' Mervin was invited to bring his cattle prod this year. --Heath
Oh, that's just old Pytheron, slayer of Morgoth. Twenty years ago his DM told him his Stoneskin spell backfired, and he's been standing there ever since, not moving a muscle. One lunch hour I read him an old issue of Dragon, and I swear his expression changed. --Annna
Cybersex: When It Could Be Him, Is It Really Worth It? --Phat Cheops
"I'm here to adress you kids of the Class of 2026 to tell you how I, Bill Gates, ended up in the gutter." -From a future I'd like to see --Mr. ?
Don Knotts prepares to "Whup a little tail. *sniff!* " --Doc Evil
Don was too old to take part in Barcelona's annual Running of the Grads, but he still enjoyed watching other fools get trampled and gored. --Wabewalker