IADL #434

 How freaked out is the pie vendor? Those socks used to be white. --for(;;);
 "You jerk! I'll fucking bash your brains in!" "Oh yeah?! How'd you like me to shove this cake up your flabby white.." We interrupt this caption for an important political announcement... --aK h
 Latest count: 285 rejected captions with the phrase "master baker". --I am Kirok
 As we can see from this exhibit from the Nixon Library, they are taking their efforts to re-define his historical image a bit too far. --I am Kirok
 A man with his apron pointing oddly out in front, a nubile young lad with a sign reading "FAIR" pointing to his backside, a plate piled high with whipped cream... I'm trying hard not to put 2 and 2 together here. --Monkeyglow
 "NO, Daniel-san! You must first chop cake, then we move on to something harder." --Phat Cheops
 The possibilities for Eurofag humour are far too damn wide to comprehend... --SlappyJack
 Samplin' Simon met the High-man going to the 'hood, Said Samplin' Simon to the High-man, "That CRACK any good?", Replied the High-man with a dead-pan look so stern and sour, "If it ISN'T good, then I've just paid for two kilos of FLOUR!" --Boris Baddenov
 No no no no no no no!!!! I said I wanted a cake THIS TALL. Dad, you ruined everything!!! Now I'm gonna grow up and listen to angsty teen music and resent you until I'm 29, at which point I'll have kids of my own, and ignore them and pass on the ignorance and shame you hath wrought! --AQUALUNG
 Then I'd really hate to see what is foul. --Jenn Dolari
 Okay, so we have a deal? My chocolate pudding sculpture of McGruff the Crime Dog for your Mount Saint Helen's Surprise? --Jenn Dolari
 Yeah, his gams are "fair," but man, what an ass! --Bill
 Puzzle #434: Can you find 72 sexually suggestive themes in this picture? --Leth
 Concepts for NAMBLA's new corporate logo. --The 13th Angel
 "You'll give me that pie, just for doin' what comes natural to a boy and his dog?" --crispy
 "Yeah, and here's a piece I did in college, man! It's the youth of America saying, 'Hey, Tricky Dick, we won't take your blood money man! Like, we won't serve in your plastic army man!!' Yeah!! Revolution now! Stick it to the man, man!!" --LuvBJones
 Mural title suggestion: "Would you like a cream puff, little boy?" --Mitch
 Hrm..."piss" embroidered on his hat and yellow stockings. Nothing strange here. Oh wait, he's giving sweets to a child! - FREAK! Danger! ---Mr Yummy Pants
 Two fruits and a cake do not make fruitcake. --Normalicy
 "Here we see the arcetypal seduction of a young boy by an older male homosexual, as we can deduce from his yellow stockings. He is luring the boy with a frosted cake, symbolic of the sweet yet sinful pleasures of gay sex. The upward turn of his phallic nose is mirrored by the flare of his apron, which is obviously concealing an unrealistically large erection. The small dog at his feet has a clear view of this, implying the sin of bestiality. Meanwhile a sign pointing towards the boy's rear end proclaims him 'Fair' or alternately, 'Fair' game for the homosexual's advances." Item #426: The Case against the NEA, Submitted by Jerry Fallwell et al. --King Catherine the Transvestite
 "Thirty years after we killed the witch. Ten years after Dorothy's sex-change operation. The bitch -still- couldn't let go of the hip-socks and tacky shoe fetish...finally I eloped with a flying monkey. -- Memoirs of a Mutt: the Toto Story --Florimel
 Unfortunately, the dog mistook the jolly thing under the apron for the cat. --siren
 You're dead, baker boy! --Mr. ?
 "I don't give a shit what my hat says it's a BLANC MANGE!" --A Grouch
 Forget Freddy Kruger, When this thing came out of the wall, it frightened me half to death. --Mr. ?
 The number of tourists huddled around was triple the number that were here last year. Apparently, the word had spread quickly: that on June 3, the Holy Pie Vendor Bas-Relief of Des Moines wept blood. --for(;;);
 I never get this Dadaist crap. --for(;;);
 Station of the Cross IIX: Jesus meets Sherman and the Professor --happy me
 Yeah, the fifties sucked. --RipperJak
 So in picture 431, we've got three kids with a birthday pie. And in this shot, Simple Simon comes upon the cake man. Has Spinn been taking a course in Photoshop? --Riff
 While the humans argued, Spot nonchalantly edged over beneath the pie man's apron and drank in the view. --The Enigma
 "I swear to God, if you don't stop that Swedish Chef shit, I'll stab you in the heart." --The Enigma
 With just a flick of his hand, Hadrain made the pie vendor's nipples bleed. --for(;;);
 Fair, nothing; that kid's a fucking albino. --for(;;);
 Staring at the Irish boy, Gustav suddenly realized how to win Kaiser Wilhelm's helmet design contest. --for(;;);
 A young Muad-Dib slowly penetrates the force sheild. --for(;;);
 Peter, Peter Pumpkineater acheived much more fame than his cousin, Bob The Guy Who Smears Cake Icing All Over His Legs And Dog Just To Annoy Chefs. --agm
 OH christ, this time I've done it..... ."SHARPEN YOUR KNIFE AWAY FROM YOU".. yea... well.. shit.. I never thought I'd actually cut it OFF, oh man... all that blood... fuck, wheres that duct tape... I'm sure it'll stop bleeding soon if I can just tape it back on... oh, uh, you wanted a caption for the picture? --Mattimeo
 You got yourself nice taste in shoes. --Mirrf
 I'm not really sure what these two are up to, but that roll of toilet paper in the dog's mouth can't be a good sign... --Robbbbb
 Simple Simon met a pieman, going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the Pieman "Hey dude, gimme the money." Said the pieman to Simple Simon "Okay, here. Take it. You can have the cake too. Don't hurt me." --Magus
 Never accept blancmange from strangers. This has been a public service announcement from the Partnership for a Blancmange-Free America. -- mutantdog
 Okay, which way is the damn wind blowing? --Werehamster
 Violating the sabbath, Johnny Tremaine? Then you shall -- no, wait. That's not right.... --Bad Girl
 In a Swiss tight-buns contest, Luther disputes his rating of "fair." --Bad Girl
 Finally, in my dreams I turned around and confronted the evil pie-man. Dad never bothered me again. --Bad Girl
 A pie man leaves Aspen at noon, traveling 40 miles an hour. Jack leaves the fair, at 1:30, traveling 18 miles per hour. When does Spot move the bread off the graph paper? --and yet, more Beer!
 "Would you like it with a log? Would you like it with my dog? Would you like it in a glass? Would you like it up your...." --The Enigma
 Piece Number 1,293,110 of 129,118,634,981,445,762,709,881 in Hell's Art Gallery --The Enigma
 Surprisingly the cake isn't the only thing that's "moist and delicious" in this photo. --Boopy
 "No, no, it's Walk Like an Egyptian and you move like this... geez, were you busy baking during the entire '80s?" --Wabewalker
 Well if this is Hell, it's nothing like I pictured it... but I'm just glad to see they got that bastard Nixon after all -- mutantdog
 I don't know art, but I know what makes me vomit. --Mr. ?
 "Dude, that pie is so baked! Hahahahaha! Hey, got any chips?" God, the pie man hated college students. --crispy
 A swift kick, a pie in the face, and a Stooge is born. --Crack Baby
 Where are you going with that queen alien egg, chum? --Mr. ?
 A young Ron Howard negotiates with Don Knotts for more screen time, via his own juvenile brand of intimidation. --Phat Cheops
 Yeah, so I aint got a penny, but I got a nice Polaroid of you and Bertha the dishwasher that Mrs. Pieman might be interested in. --Rotgut
 Yellow stockings?! With THAT red shirt? You really ARE a friut aren't you? --Jenn Dolari
 Said the boy, "Is that real fruit filling? // Then I'd pay you a pound and a shilling!" // "Both the filling and I // are real fruit, which is why // I trade flesh and not coin, are you willing?" --Heath