"... and keep your wrist steady as you follow through on the left uppercut." --Ken
June 4, 1937: Dr. Spock first notices that holding and dealing with infants draws the attention of chicks. --Mr. ?
"Note to self - women don't go ga-ga over a talking Chucky doll." --The Enigma
"Oh, no, I think more women should breastfeed in public, really. In fact, would you like to give it a try?" --flodnak
The meeting of the Bring Back Battlestar Galactica Club will now come to order! --Heath
"No, tonight my Mother-in-law is babysitting him. That's why I'm feeding him coffee." --for(;;);
Everyone was wary of when Baby Chug-A-Lot would burp --Mr. ?
This kid? Nah, he ain't mine.I just found him outside in this seat here... anyways, what you doing later? Wanna hang out, do some weed, maybe get freaky? --AQUALUNG
"No, thanks, lady. I don't go for those "New Age" ideas like "formula" and "baby food". A steady diet of Doritos and Dr. Pepper have made him the strapping 8 year old you see here..." --Tillman
"...his eyes are from his mother, but the goatee and affinity for room-shaking belches are all mine!" --DMJ92
Halftime at the Projectile Vomiting Championships in an opportune time for the contestants to "reload". --Phat Cheops
No, you gotta push down...and then turn! --aK h
"Man", thought Bob. "This chick can't keep her eyes off me!" Unfortunately, he then noticed that the nipple had been up little Bubba's nose for the last 10 minutes... --Tillman
"Sittin' in my Daddy's lap/With a bottle in my hand/Lookin' at the woman over there/Wish I was nursin' on her gland..." --Blind Stan Xhiao
I tell ya, Top Fuel dragsters leave shorter skid marks than this little guy... --rudy pepper
C'mon, drink your beer, don't you want to grow up to be a pencil-neck hillbilly just like Daddy? --Uncle Roy
By the time he finished feeding his son cappachinos, the baby was vibrating fast enough to cut through solid steel. --Mr. ?
Starbucks tests their new 'Infantcino' baby formula in local markets, only to be outdone by Anheiser Busch's new 'ToddlerLager.' --agm
Legendary porn star "Pud" Manley demonstrating his trademark gag of dressing his penis like an infant and inviting unsuspecting women to "come over and rub his tummy" --Frenchy, the Toad Swallower