The camera, loves you, baby! Yeah...glance to the left! Pout, baby...GQ loves that look...somewhere between angst and constipation! --Florimel
"Mm-MMM, that guy got one beefy butt." --Sammy "The Bull" Gravano's Guide to Scoping Hot Guys in Chicago, Pederasti Spumonte Press --anon
Hey! Youse! Be a real shame if someone came along and captioned your restaurant, capice? --DINSdale!
1) Approach corner. 2) Wait for target. 3) Shoot him through rolled newspaper. 4) As crowd increases flash roll of Mentos before making escape. --anon
Now that I think about it, Tron really wasn't such a good movie, was it? --Jenn Dolari
Psst... buddy.... where can a guy get a donut around here? --badlawyer
Watch. Chicago is famous for its curbside midwives. --Ken
Tony camped out on the sidewalk for two weeks in order to get premiere tickets for "Fandom Menace," the off-broadway tribute to Hank Ketchum. Nobody else did. --Stan Xhiao
Brezhnev, incognito. Smells like Fritos. Teeth like Chee-tos. And under the coat, he's wearing a Speedo. --rudy pepper (I just grossed myself out...)
When Jim Morrison died, the indian spirit who haunted him spent the rest of eternity hanging out looking for hookers. --Schottworld
Of course, in the better restaurants, mob bosses can bring their goons inside instead of leashing them up by the curb. --Rotter
Jurgen could never accept the fall of East Germany. He comes back to the same corner every day, waiting for the Stasi contact that will never come. Sometimes we give him a danish. --LuvBJones
You know you need a new lookout when you can't get out of the place you just robbed because he's leaning against the door. --Mr. Me
"Illinois... Illinois... Wisconsin... Illinois... Illinois..." After five hours of playing license plate poker with himself, Tony was behind $5. --Stan Xhiao
After the Social Secutiry crash of 2005, many senior citizens resorted to black market sources of geritol. --Crack Baby
2019 : Smelling of crappy malt liquor and mumbling about psychic hotlines, Billy Dee Williams loiters on city streets, waiting to earn another 5 bucks with the "you old pirate" routine. --A Grouch
Welcome to EuroJersey --Mr. ?
I love watching the Loitering Vagrant Channel. --Mr. ?
Somewhere, an Eastern European country is missing a chancellor. --AQUALUNG
"Here kitty kitty kitty! Here kitty kitty kitty!" Jim was good. His McDonald's never had a food shortage. --Ken
Red... green... yellow... red... green... I guess Hank was right. It always does that. --flodnak
Having heard that fewer muscles to smile than to frown, Marv decides he really needs the exercise. --Gladstone
And people say the cancelling of "Sheriff Lobo" was a victimless crime. --Opie
Okay..nobody looking... a little lower, oohh,..yeah, right there...aaaah! --Sometimes nothing nails that itch quite like brick does. --agm
A visitor from the planet Thunderbird. --I am Kirok
Unable to convince the Wendy's manager that he was Dave Thomas, Willie ponders his next move in his quest for lunch. --I am Kirok
. . . lookin'suavelookin'suavelookin'suavelookin'suave..... -- . . . caption salvage crew . . . .
Guess the ethnic background and win a Mazda. --RipperJak
Jazz musician or homeless wino? You make the call! --Pete
By day, he was just Joey...but by night, he was "Jigglin' Joe, the Disco King" --Typhon
Somehow being a Klingon general wasn't impressive enough to get free coffee at Denny's. Next time he'd have to show up in costume... --A Grouch