IADL #448
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 After strapping small metal bars to various parts of their body, Billy, Chris, and Jack all rushed to the airport, eagerly seeking full-strip, body cavity searches. --The Enigma (yeah, I guess I should apologize....)
 Usually US customs will not allow fruits to be brought into the country, for these three, an exception was made --poitin
 Hey, babe, wanna come back to our place and see our Magic cards? You can 'giant growth' my 'artifact creature' -- if you know what I mean." --icebear
 Ralphie, Brucie, and Georgie never did understand that the Gay Pride March meant you were supposed to get off your fat ass and march. --narcoleptic
 NO, Ed, for the LAST TIME, I DO NOT want to play "ventriloquist". Well, alright, but at least this time use some vaseline, for chrissakes... --99% of it sucks, but that 1% is cool
 In case you were wondering, this is what a Hootie fan looks like. --AQUALUNG
 "Hello...", "Hello...", "Hello...", "HELLO!" Man oh man, StoogeCon '99 was gonna *rock*. --Orrin Bloquy
 In the heart of O'hare, where the shadows lie, these three brave souls, 'fraid not to die, carried the one-ring, to the center concourse, with nary a lembas, no gollum, or horse. --- G.R.R. Dorkiens "Lord of the Rings: Pt. 2" unsuccesfull trilogy. --AQUALUNG
 ....and thus, the Airport Homosexuals begin their Magical Moving Sidewalk journey to the Bathroom Stalls of Pleasure. --The Enigma (yeah, I guess I should apologize....)
 Yet another busy day for the Iowa Crips. --Farmdog Poke Cheop Barbeque
 Jim and Gary's wedding album featured the guy with weak kidneys at LAX pissing on the walkway. --Male Bimbo
 Ever since United imposed its No goosing on all domestic flights policy, Jim would grab a quick one right before take-off. --Ken
 The title characters of Truffaut's Three Men And...Just Three Men (l-r: La Coiffure Arrangeur, Le Communiste, et Le Push-Push-de-Merde) in the "EuroDisney Small World Waiting Line" scene. --Le Stan Xhiao
 Ralph and Bill just smiled like idiots. Fred, knowing full well where this picture was going to end up, just went for his Magnum. --Geoduck
 This week on "Spot the Geek" we'll start with an easy one. --Talisker
 Warning: This converyor's maximum geek limit is...oh, hell...overload...overload..emergency...emergency... --The Answer
 The three best friends your insomnia ever had. --Namgubed the Merry Elf
 UPN's new comedy series, Guyz without Livez, was pulled halfway through its premere. --Wabewalker
 Christ Farley. He died for your fat, you know. --Ikari Gendo is a pussy, salvaging for Well, several liked PPG, I thought, but no one got that one.
 Ladies and Gentlemen: The Sailor Moon Fan Club. --Jenn Dolari
 "This should put to rest all those rumors that Alan Thicke, John Candy, and Bob Saget are all the same person." "There are no such rumors." "Then burn this photo immediately." --Mr. Me
 It took the ticket agent all of four nanoseconds to deduce that these two were destined for Hawaii. --Brandolon Hill
 All three members of the Butte, Montana computer club, on their way to Comdex --more beer
 In the opening level from "LaGuardia Raider," Lara Croft enters the States and faces down her most dreaded fear: hardcore Tomb Raider geeks. --Orrin Bloquy
 It was horrible! Everywhere I went the people were muttering snide remarks about me, my clothes, my family. I don't care how cheap it is to vacation there, I'm *never* going back to Spinnrovia. --Orrin Bloquy
 From the makers of the Waldo books comes "Where's the Disgruntled Postman?" --Mr. ?
 (Psst! Larry...Larry! That chick over there with the camera is, like, totally checking us out!) (You think she wants to do it with us?) (Why else would she be taking our picture, dude? Now suck in that gut and don't screw this up for us! Just let "Captain Smooth" handle everything, all right?) --Rotter
 In photos, Leonard was always self-conscious about his penis. --I am Kirok!
 Yew eyein' me, boy? --Farmdog Poke Cheop Barbeque
 Ah said throw down, boy! --Farmdog Poke Cheop Barbeque
 "Oooh, Nigel, check out the fly boy over there with the camera!" "Say, he is a sweet bit of sausage, eh Cecil?" "Yes indeed, Joey, and check out the package...he simply makes my head spin!" --Stan Xhiao
 One of Mother Goose's less-popular nursery rhymes was "Winkin, Blinkin, and Stern-Shake-Of-Head". --RM
 . . and now it's Bad Flat Top, followed by Fat Red-Shirted Fuck with Pit Stain bringing up the rear . . but Oh No! Bad Flat Top stops to drag his ass on the escalator hand rail, Fat Red Shirted Fuck gets hung up behind him, and it looks like Pit Stain is going to be in by a nose! --Hang Lose (peeking from the DFC)
 "Hey there, fine lady, wanna go look in our Mystery Machine? Eh? Or how about holding our Dragonballs?" -The perpetual mating season of the cartoon fan is long, annoying, and sad. Very sad. --Mokohki (self infliction of pain OUCH)
 o/` We three kings of Tomb Raider are/Flew by plane, 'cause we don't own a car/We whack off/To Lara Croft/Our social life's in a jar. o/` --rudy pepper (spruced up a bit by.... who knows?)
 The Butch Boy, the Baked Good Devourer, and the Candle-in-an-inappropriate-place Guy. --A Grouch
 Yup, that's right, rockers...Triumph is back, and out on tour! --Cryptique
 Meanwhile, on the bridge of the Star Destroyer Bluecollar. --Mr. ?
 Bill likes the feel of the handrail on his butt, Steve just likes how it feels in his hand, Marty however , likes the feel of himself. --Ganalc
 The Bay City Rollers Fucking Rule! --Boopy
 Trevor could barely contain his joy. It had been a long time since something hard had stroked between his ass cheeks. Too long. --Boopy
 Now remember, you've only got 3 shots. If you hit all 3 as they move down the conveyor belt, you get anything on the lower shelf." --Crack Baby
 Three of the rejected Rice Krispies mascots: Burp, Fart, and Scratch my Balls --Poitin
 Over the centuries, the Apocalyptic Horsemen have had a high turnover. Pictured: "Painful Rectal Itch," "Ice Cream Headache" and "Tubby." (background: Gordon from the Violent Femmes) --Mr. Yummy Pants.
 Jim couldn't believe his good fortune, running into TWO doctors willing to give him a prostate exam in the airport washroom. --Leaf

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