IADL #45
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 I'm sorry, Bob, it's hard to listen to you while my panties are creeping up on me... --Long Arrow
 A Suburban American Tragedy: "A Love Triangle of Mall Losers"...next time on Masterpiece Theater. --kafka
 Joe knew something was going on when his girlfriend started checkin' out his sister. --anon
 Sam knew he had found the girl of his dreams when she belched the entire Gettysburg Address. Just like Mom used to. --Greg J
 And then the aliens came for me and darlene and THEN... --anon
 Well, of course * YOU * never have trouble feeling " fresh " Bob, GEEZ... --Doc Evil
 Biff only had fifty bucks, so he had to make a decision. The blonde with the round mouth, or the brunette with the spread legs? --The Lawyer
 The "Colostomy Patients' Anti-Defamation League" plots their strategy against IADL. --S. Toma
 The "Crotch Shame" Support Group meets every Saturday. --anon
 Mike felt only a small prick at the back of his head, and then he was down. Yet another victim of the dreaded Poisonous Brain-Eating Frog. --Der Tanzer
 Hello, and welcome to the Betty Lou Franklin Show. Our topic today: people who still don't have their own talk shows. Are they just freaks, or merely an alternate lifestyle choice? --Greg J
 "Well, you know, I always knew that Kathie Lee Gifford was nothing but a money-grubbing, child-labor-exploiting, washed-up-football-hero-schtupping tramp, but you have to admit, Regis is pretty fucking funny." --Capt. phealy
 "Why, no, now that you mention it, I never have performed fellatio." --Capt. phealy
 Adam Sandler liked to visit out-of-the-way locations around the mall and offer to show unsuspecting women his "Happy Gilmore". --Capt. phealy
 Eager crowds await the opening of the new film "BUSLOVER"... --The Sandman
 In the middle of discussing Back-to-School wear with her daughter and son, Edna is distressed to find one of her Ben Wah balls slipping down her pant leg. --Jojo the Spiv
 Winnie Watkins, school guidance councilor, felt increasingly uncomfortable as CeeCee and Tab undressed her with their eyes. --Jojo the Spiv
 They been trudging through the rainforest for ten days now....little did they know that just beyond the tree line was civilization. --Jojo the Spiv
 The mallrats plotted their attack on the left flank of the fortification. The Gap will soon be theirs! --Don Spudleone
 Okay, we managed to get out with the mannequin. Now what? --The Outsider
 Even with the help of two tutors, Jack was destined to fail "Hand Clasping, 101" --Coyote

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