IADL #451
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 Lisa was so good at skipping rocks, she could decapitate three waterfowl with a single stone. --narcoleptic
 "When I was extra-naughty, she'd throw my meds to the ducks. I remember how she would laugh and laugh as both I and the ducks ran around, crazier than shithouse rats. I'm glad that meteor hit her. Bitch." --crispy
 "...and with a wave of her hand, she turned all the floating used condoms into ducks and geese..." From the widely acclaimed Modern Hudson River Tales. --crispy
 "Go forth, my ducks! Paddle to the Isle of Lesbos and bring word of our plight to the warriors!" Xena and Gabrielle watched as their last hopes swam into range of Fudd's over-and-under. --sx
 All this scene is missing is a speedboat and some Moo Shu pancakes. --rudy pepper
 "Look at the duckies, dear! Scrambling for the meager crumbs we toss to them, like the child support payments your good-for-nothing, alcoholic, lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch father of yours tosses to us on the months he hasn't snorted it up his nose..." --Mr. Schpanky
 Morgan Le Fay creates a legion of diarrhetic waterfowl to besmirch her cousin the Lady of the Lake while the young Merlin takes notes. --A Grouch
 The Dark Pope of All Ducks. --Werehamster
 Harriet's range decreased with age, but she could still time the lighting of the firecracker perfectly. --Les Miserables
 Ducks and assorted other waterfowl? Check! Toddler? Check! Interpretive dance nutcup? Check! OK, Mr. Kubrick, we're ready on the set... --rudy pepper (props to the late SK)
 "Lake Darkmoor is known to be a place most fowl." From page 298 in the book entitled "Attrocious Spelling Mistakes in Modern Fantasy Literature." --ChAoS
 After being humiliated in her department's quarterly meeting, Sara practiced every evening but still could never get her ducks in a row. --Stan Xhiao
 "Aren't they just so beautiful? So you see, honey, webbed feet are nothing to be ashamed of." --Sean Q
 "No, Lizzie. the ducks aren't swimming away because they don't like you. It's just because you're ugly." Eleanor's parenting classes were finally paying off. --Boopy
 "Gramma, I don't 'member Moses needing a dead sheep and a pentagram made from the ashes of burned excrement!" --Mitch
 Hmmm. . .bucolic. Serene. Relaxing. No hint of pedophilia. Then again, they said the same thing about John Wayne Gacy. --Kearney
 An aging Mrs. Hennisy passes the secret art of dynamite fishing down to the next generation. The ducks never knew what hit 'em. --Set of the Misused Munitions
 "This is where our first ancestors built their house. And over there is where the white man raped and slaughtered our first ancestors." --The Enigma
 "And out there is the final resting place of your Uncle Ed, may he rest in peace.....although if the police mention his name, just remember that he's visiting relatives in Seattle, okay?" --The Enigma
 "The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ....compels you!" It was harmless, I guess, mom's habit of trying to exorcise the spirit of Satan out of the local waterfowl. --The Enigma (thanks to rascal)
 Go, my pretties! Kill! Kill! --aK h (the---e Simpso---ons)
 Agnes had Alzheimers. The homeless man one block back had a pile of bread crumbs. The ducks had eighty-nine cents in loose change. --Hang Lose
 "And then when I'm done, I'm gonna wood-chip you right into this here puppy. Bet you're pissed that you wandered away from your Mommy now, huh?" --Hang Lose
 "And that's where Chinese food comes from." --Hang Lose
 Sarah liked to take her daughter and their pet rooster, Clucky, to see the ducks. Poor Clucky was so traumatized, he always hid under Sarah's jacket and only peeked his head out from the hole in the left shoulder. --narcoleptic
 "Ok, so what have we learned?" "That water rolls off their backs, Mommy." "Good, dear. What else?" "That bricks don't." --narcoleptic (props to Enigma)
 Aunt Mary used to trapse about hither and yon. But mostly just covered herself in her own shit and danced around the lake. --Kearney
 Every Saturday the ducks would shit on Mrs. Owen's newly-washed car. And every Saturday night she would reciprocate by hurling her own shit at the vile birds. --Kearney
 Mom used to make us go play bocce with the ducks every weekend. Of course, we knew she was crazy as fuck, but she'd stab us if we didn't go. --Kearney
 As witches go, Gail was fairly innocuous. Yes, she would summon the ducks to drown children occasionally, but then again who doesn't? --Kearney
 "Flyyyy! Flyyyy, my little pretty ones! I'll get you, Dorothy, and your little- oh, there you are." --Farmdog Poke Cheop Barbeque
 Every Sunday morning, the Right Reverend Enid Schultz performed High Mass for the ducks. God help the ones who don't pay attention... --Tillman
 For years, Martha would bring her family to the shores of Loch Ness, hoping the tint of Druidic blood she had could conjure the monster from the depths. However, the best results she ever got were 36 ducks and one '78 Coupe de Ville. --Crack Baby
 Marlene signifies her respect for the duck pentacle by throwing them a quick "hook 'em horns" sign. --Shifter
 Your Honor, this photo, People's Exhibit A, clearly shows Mrs. Louten soliciting the undercover ducks first. Therefore this was not entrapment. --Yakko
 Each day at exactly 5:54 pm, Marcie would go down to the pond and cuss out the ducks. No one knows why. --I am Kirok!
 Darth Barbara, and apprentice. --Capn' Undead
 Thelma was such a horrible thespian -- even the ducks left the performances early. --Stealth
 Yoda sighed. Luke tried and tried to raise his X-Wing from the swamp, but the dufus was at the wrong pond again. --Crack Baby (salv. I am Kirok!)

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