IADL #458
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 Luckily, Mike's rampage ended with no one even aware there had been a rampage. --Phat Cheops
 Bill prepared to enter the gunfight, like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. --Phat Cheops
 Is it just me, or are these John Woo movies getting sillier? --Phat Cheops
 He didn't know exactly what it was, but it made him feel all tingly inside. --Nrrrd Diva
 Little did Robert know that he was playing "Head and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes" for the last time. Brad would soon put an end to his nonsense with his super-powered Whack-A-Moron. --Nrrrd Diva
 After standing in line for an hour, Lester would refuse to go on the inverted coaster when the attendants told him that his new best friend "Doris" couldn't have a seat of its own. --Nrrrd Diva
 People line up early for the Roger Waters concert. --Bleech_
 When the only tool you have is a big plastic hammer, every problem looks like a big plastic nail. --j. random hacker
 Dr. Freud, please call your office... we have an emergency. --flodnak (sometimes a sledgehammer is just a sledgehammer)
 People walking around in an Erector set... people holding super-jumbo olives by the pimiento... people being held up by imaginary thugs... that annoying little Pepsi girl that sounds like Joe Pesci... this must be one of the planes of Hell that Dante forgot to mention. --rudy
 Though he had worked at the zoo for nearly a decade, Jim never really got used to taking the elephant's rectal temperature. --Kearney
 The rest of the crowd looked on in horror as the lynch pin for the inflatable bridge had been removed by a disgruntled Rogaine user. --Kearney
 Due to Asgardian financial cutbacks, the gates of Valhalla will be temporarily be guarded by Myron, Norse God of Accounting.. --Smokey
 At last he could summon the Extra-Dimensional Hammer... Lloyd was one step closer to becoming the cute little anime girl he had always dreamed of. Next step: sailor suit! --Dave. No catchy online handle - just 'Dave.'
 Steve was not hesitant to whip out his +5 war hammer and use it on those who deserved it. Unfortunately, inflatable weapons fail to cause much damage, and Steve was usually given a wedgie for his efforts. --Schottworld
 "The popularity of the 'Shove This Up Your Ass' attraction has even us stunned. God, people are gibbering idiots!!" -- From an internal Six Flags memo --crispy
 None of the women were allowed to cross the bridge until they received the Sanjeev Shaveesna "big stamp of approval." --Kearney
 The emergency colon splint. --Kearney
 The German construction worker held up the traffic cone in a menacing fashion; the French workers put down their wrenches and surrendered. --agm
 Joe managed to conk the Ferrell family and a coroner with a crude blow-up toy, thereby silencing the howling voices in his head. Nevertheless, Spike Lee never made a movie about him. --Ken (caption savage crew)
 For Pedro, the lines at Disneyland were always short. --Mr. Schpanky
 No Sith was safe from Jedi Master Hans Bendy and his Light-Hammer! --Riff
 Dorky Kong. --Hang Lose
 Today's letter comes from a reader in New York, who would like to know what would be different if the Beatles had arrived thirty years later: Dear Mr. Lennon: In light of the Columbine High School tragedy and other violent incidents, we suggest that you modify your lyrics such that Maxwell's hammer is made of inflatable plastic, and instead of killing anyone, it just makes embarassing noises. --Ken
 Well Bruce Wayne inherited a fuckin' fortune! Just because you only have a dollar sixty-seven to your name doesn't mean you can't fight crime effectively, too. --Hang Lose
 And following the 'World's Strongest Man' on ESPN2, live from France, it's 'Europe's Swishiest Pseudo-Athletes!" --Hang Lose
 In Construx land, the incompetent workers were supplied with harmless Nerf tools. --Hobgobble
 Bob was going out to get hammered --hockeyfag
 While the antics of Steve 'The Crocodile Hunter' Irwin catapulted him to international fame and fortune, his brother Nigel 'The Elephant Shagger' Irwin went largely unnoticed. --Al Koholic
 I did it! I did it! I finally caught the last fucking Pokemon! --Azazael
 Dave was a Nerf guy in a K'nex world... --narcoleptic
 Steve was on a holy mission to rid the world of teenagers trying to "Vogue". Too bad he had no peripheral vision. --Lowfyr, The Material Dragon
 Fuck whack-a-mole, I'm gonna whack that old lady over yonder. --anon.
 o/' "If I had a hammer/ I'd be laughed at in the morning/ I'd be laughed at in the evening/ All over this la-aaaa-and... o/' --Ask For It By Name!
 na na na na na na na naaa....Whackman! BOOM! POW! ZOT! --cip (dork knight)
 Only Terry's Walk like an Egyptian could break Tim's rage over having Muskrat Love lyrics endlessly repeating in his head, bringing an end to the clubbing spree. --Pastor of Muppets
 Tony "the Pantywaist" Viscotti, one of the Mafia's less-effective hitmen. He would spend an afternoon working your kneecaps, until you broke them yourself out of sheer boredom. --Phat Cheops
 When hunting cartoon melonheads, the proper tool is a cartoon Sledge-o-matic. --Leth (Working offa RoBear)
 Six Flags, honeymoon: Britain's Prince Edward waits for Sophie to emerge from the ladies room. He's been carrying around the wedding gift from Fergie all week, and still doesn't know what the fuck it is. --Fluffybunny
 A man holding an inflatable "Mickey Mouse Nose On A Red Hot Nail"...must be EuroDisney. --A Grouch
 Bridge Over Troubled Walter. --Bad Girl
 When he was young, mother made him use safety scissors. Now that he was working as a construction worker, she made him use a safety sledge hammer. --Bad Girl
 Sadly, the regulation-issue sidearms for security at Six Flags made it difficult to "announce your presence with authority". --Frenchy, the Toad Swallower
 I know we're all excited about James Cameron's proposed Spider-Man movie, but does anyone really care to see Joel Shumacher's new Thor movie? --The Answer
 "Mola Ram! Prepare...*mnph* to meet Kali...*mnph* in HELL!!! Wait...gimme a minute here." --Doctor X
 Tonight, on the new MacGyver, MacGyver (played by Dwight Schultz) must stop terrorists from blowing up the Eiffel Tower, but all he has is an inflatable hammer and a stick of Wrigley's DoubleMint gum. Can he do it? --Wabewalker
 Hal's plan to become famous by assassinating the president had almost everything. It had the timing, the swiftness, and the perfect execution. There was just one problem... --Magus
 o/'John Henry was a Nerf-drivin' man, Lord, Lord. John Henry was a Nerf-drivin' man.o/' --Doctor X, (Sort of) salvaging Saurentine
 Hubert cheered Jack's latest theft from the giant: his martini olive. --Stealth
 Take that you vampiric olive! --Mr. ?
 There can be only one. Just not me. --The Cast of 'Cats'

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