IADL #461
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 Not even the rally flag on Sam's bike was as effective as Frank's new "chick" calls. --Lowfyr
 "Don't look in the (mmpph!) bike cart, miss!" --sx
 Stan was so taken by Marcia's obvious charms that he had to physically keep his jaw from dropping. --narcoleptic
 "I've got your nose!" Javier may have been a little slow, but he could always keep himself entertained. --narcoleptic
 Since the 16th century, Harold's family has served as Guardians of the Sewers. --Ken
 The girl in the chatroom said to walk down the street like this so she could recognize me. Hmmm, maybe another couple of blocks. --Elbow (Yeah, like you've never talked to yourself!)
 Edith got a lot of positive reactions to her new "Crotchless Shorts". Or, at least, a lot of reactions. --Snafflepod
 McCooey smiled at his own ingenuity. By cupping his hand over his mouth and announcing 'P.U.!' every step, nobody would figure out that he was the one who had shat himself. --Hang Lose (dropping the gauntlet)
 6 Days, 2 Hours, 39 Minutes since Dan stepped onto the "pad" and started saying "Beam me up now" into his hand. --Ken (updating continually)
 Craig cursed silently and squeezed tighter, his lungs begging for air. Another woman was heading his way! Would the cooties never stop?! --Rabbi Mike Myers
 As Joanne moves into opposition with Lester, it will be profitable to stay where you are and pick your nose. Jay didn't just invent autocentric astrology, he was a true believer. --Ken
 "Dork Central, this is Mallo-Man. Agent Thundra has arrived with the new superbike chain! Ramon is pleased. Mallo-Man out." --DogBomb
 The Criminal's Paradox: I can't rob people until I have a mask, but I can't afford a mask until I rob people... --Rabbi Bono
 Suddenly, Ahmed remembers he left his mother in Arizona. --crispy
 *koff* *koff* "Damn, I hate it when someone SMOOOOOOOOOOKES around me." *glare* --Stealth
 Gallant offers the nice lady a ride free of charge. Goofus vomits on her shoes. --Stealth
 The secret danger to America's Greco-Turkish adolescent community: baklava whiffing. --Smokey
 Hmm.. I don't remember eating that! --Mr. ?
 Bip's job was to ride with the yellow flag raised to warn innocents of Roy's deadly halitosis. Unfortunately for her, a flat tire allowed Roy to get ahead --cip
 "Snghghaaaawwwkkkk". Benny hawks up another oyster. Jane will do laundry tonight. --FluffyBunny
 Tayhon of Planet Gozrak materialized on the teleportation disc disguised perfectly - - except for that damn thumb sucking. --Kearney
 After Reagan was shot, secret service agent Marty Kopowitz was relegated to protecting manhole covers and some guy's bike. --Kearney
 Goddamn these dentures! --narcoleptic
 Legendary bicyclist Enrique Morales. Though his nubs did not reach the pedals, his dreams reached the sky. --Kearney
 Exposed to Krieger radiation as a child, Juan has the superpower of psychically knowing when he's about to be slapped. --Mycroft
 Although not strictly sanitary, Bill's ability to "cough up a lighter" was a boon to smokers everywhere. --Lowfyr, "Hey, I'm smokin' in any jacket."
 Puh-Haha.. Puf-Pah Ha Ha.. I'm the Mad Beatboxer, and I'm here to say, I love Fruity Pebbles in a major way. Poof-Haha Puh-Puh. --MANGOAT
 The voices in Larry's head suddenly switch to a talk-radio format. --L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg
 "Breaker-breaker one-nice. Do you copy?" Alan and many others like him never got over the CB craze of the seventies. Won't you help? --L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg
 Sadly, Vladic did not realize that in America the gift of a fresh nose goober did not attract women. --Frenchy, the Toad Swallower
 "No! It...can't be!" "Mwuhaha! I recovered from your yeasty treachery, and now seek my vengeance!" - Donutman meets Prehensile Vagina, #127 --Samwise (more...coffee...)
 It was an amazing set of smells: Baby diaper, cigarette, and his hand where he had grabbed her ass. Martin was in heaven. --Luther Yonderboy
 Javier blows into his palm to check his breath before approaching an attractive young woman. The ensuing back-blast would take out the guy to his right, the kids in the bike, and the woman halfway down the street. --Hang Lose
 I offer a choice nose hair, but she ignores me. I ask for her sign or if she wants to cruise in my home-made tricycle-- but she is not convinced. I hear my mother calling me home.--Loser, the new fragrance from Calvin Klein --agm
 In his last days, Chuck spent his days walking the streets and jamming funyuns down his throat and forcing passers-by to listen to his impression of what Huckleberry Hound would sound like being tortured by Hare Krishnas. --Kearney
 Taco Bell: "Salmonella Poisonings Down to 1 in 50, and Falling!" --Phat Cheops
 Phil folds up his 12-foot tongue and stuffs it back in his mouth... this time, only two witnesses would have to die. --Phat Cheops
 My doctor said Mylanta... Bill's doctor said Wild Turkey. --Phat Cheops
 The fever, the hacking cough, the natty threads-- yes, Juan had definitely been bitten by the fashion bug. --Hang Lose
 July 15,1999 2:17 PM - Chuck finally gets The Crying Game --djymm
 John had the uncanny ability to sense that a she-male was close by an automatic trigger of his gag reflex. --I am Kirok!!! (salvaging my ass)
 As Ahmid distracts the 'American Demon' with his whooping howler monkey impression, Abdul motions for the kid to hand him the gun. --Set of the Flatulent Jhad
 Microsoft payed Julian $50 an hour to stand outside on "manhole duty". It was costly, but it got him out of the way. --Magus
 sniff, sniff "Ack! Where has this hand been? ...Oh. Right." --Valvoline
 "Mmmph mph-ffmmm!" Juan's impression of Kenny from "South Park" left much to be desired. --Valvoline
 poh-sss...poh-sss...The ability to pull small children behind a bike is insignificant next to the power of the Force..poh-sss..poh-sss --Capn' Undead
 Nota Bene: to impress the chicks, sneezing and leprosy don't mix. --Orrin Bloquy
 Derek hastily chomps down a handful of Mentos, hoping it would impress the girl that approached like the commercials implied. She didn't even notice, but Juan looked up from his bike with a gleam in his eye. --Ratman
 The crown jewel of FOX's new Sunday Night Extravaganza: Bill, The Wandering Asthmatic. --Capn' Undead
 Unheard thoughts (from left to right): "I love the feel of fresh panties." "Phew! Something smells!" "I love the feel of fresh panties." --Magus
 Where was this taken? I can't make out the pennant... --Mycroft
 Akhmed was mortified when the man by the bike screamed "I need a tampon," and a blond whipped one out of her purse so fast it caught fire. --Male Bimbo
 "You emerge from the teleporter in an urban area. You see a mongoloid, hiding, and a Beast of Fashion, charging. Obvious exits: North, South - Down the street." --Golfhaus
 You would recognize me better if I cover my face like this, Sonya, for it is I, Sub Zero! --Mr. ?
 Hey, mister, would you like to buy an Olson twin? --Mr. ?

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