IADL #465
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 Hey, did'ja happen to see / the most beautiful girl in the world? --LuvBJones
 A rare painting by the bastard son of Norman Rockwell and Robert Crumb. --Marlboro (I KNOW they're both guys)
 If the drawstring hadn't been there, Sue might have gotten away with wearing the laundry bag as a dress. --OAK
 Jeez, she's put on a lot of weight in just a few pictures. --Horselover Fat
 This is a "before" picture for so many things. --Horselover Fat
 Casting call for "Arkansas!The Musical!" --Frenchy, the Toad Swallower
 Well, when you consider it, it's not that the dress itself is unflattering..... --The Enigma
 Frieda touched her chin thoughtfully while pondering the Wall Street Journal. Broomhilda gnashed her nails while worrying about anal leakage. --Mr. Schpanky
 Mmm....nothing hits the spot quite like the ticks that you have just spent the past half-hour removing from your scalp. --The Enigma
 While most women desired an hourglass figure, Helen went more toward the "clocktower" look. --Valvoline
 Larry's "Brad Majors" outfit was pretty lame, but Pat's "Riff Raff" was not merely inaccurate, but truly repulsive. -- Excerpt from Time Warp, My Ass: 20 Years as a Rocky Horror Groupie --Mycroft
 Mona wiped her mouth. She was one spot closer to getting Phantom Menace tickets. No one had noticed her strategy... the only problem was disposing of the clothing. --Mycroft
 Severe morning sickness. Not her, me. --Mycroft
 Ethel tugged on her last remaining tooth. Once that came out, her rates would go up thirty dollars, easily. --CedricFox
 'ow to speak Australian: Hot Chick --Magus
 The casting call for It's a Dysfunctional Life: The Movie. note: The woman auditioning for "Girl in Slinky Striped Dress" does not get the part. --semillama
 When Kewpie Dolls go really, really bad. --Luna
 Words 964 through 968: "Sweet mother of Jesus, no!" --The Enigma
 Diagnosis: Furniture Disease--patient's chest has fallen into her drawers. --I am Kirok!!!
 While I'm glad that MTV has finally got a little more realistic in their choices for "Real World: Wichita", I don't see it making another season... --Tillman
 Her real name was Ruby, but the rest of the whores on seventh avenue called her 'Mama.' --Kearney (in homage to Paul Simon)
 Being and Albino Indian wasn't easy. Old Sanjeev always got the smallest serving of curry and he had to wear the smallest turban. --Kearney
 Kim was splattered repeatedly when Granny Oates tried to dig out a Now & Later that had been stuck in her molar since '78. --Kearney
 Esther started getting really nervous when her granddaughter insisted on reading "Final Exit" to her all day long. --Kearney
 Edna packed her bags, grabbed her teddy bear and walked out the door of the nursing home. "I'm running away and I'm never coming back!" All the attendants thought it was cute because they new that she'd be dead by sundown without her insulin. --Kearney
 Bertha never went out in public without at least one strand of pearls. They always made her feel so feminine. --narcoleptic
 Sadly, FrankenThelma had a difficult time adjusting to big-city life... --Capn' Undead
 Sure she doesn't have her mom's figure, but all things considered Dolly Keane is actually heroically well adjusted. --Elbow
 Verna was so horny and desperate, she'd slip herself a little tongue. --narcoleptic
 David looked up from his paper and in that exact moment was transformed into a homosexual. --I am Kirok!!!
 Cora found that the magic combination of very long fingernails and poor personal hygene insured that a tasty snack was never any further away than the end of her fingers. --Uncle Dave
 Edith had no idea that her hair style was identical to the words "Live bait" in Arabic. --narcoleptic
 Looks like Billy Joel divorced Christie Brinkely just in time. --The Answer
 As the bus driver pulled up to the stop, he took mercy on everyone involved and rubbed these people into that building. --crispy
 Tragedy ensues when an STD outbreak hits Whoville's Red Light District. --Daniel M. Laenker
 Agatha had the darnedest time trying to get the Meow Mix out of her teeth. --I am Kirok!!!
 The balding man sneered. Excellent...soon everyone will be infected with my chin-itching virus! Muahahahaha! --pelle
 Just for fun, Joe Walsh dresses in drag and wolf-whistles at passing buses. --TBone's House O' Screamin' Weasels!!
 The human equivalent of that last piece of chicken in the KFC bucket that no-one eats because they just can't figure out what part it is. --rudy (no longer hungry)
 Shall I compare thee to a summers day? Like that hot, August day I spent in Kinshasa during the Ebola outbreak? --Mr. Me
 Rhonda was very displeased with her recent purchase at the Scratch N' Dent sale of "Big Bob's Denture World". Oh, sure, she saved a few bucks, but she sounded like a Hohner harmonica every time she breathed through her mouth... --Tillman
 A still from the upcoming movie "Unpleasantville" --Honest Jon
 Okay, Crisis on Infinite Earths cost us Supergirl and countless parallell worlds. So why the hell didn't it take this woman with it? --The Answer
 The prostitute of Dorian Grey. --Mr. Me
 Bertha wolf-whistled at every guy who walked by. Occasionally, she could get one to stop by kneecapping him with her purse. --Stealth
 I'll bet that circus is sorry now, thought Madonnie the Nearsighted Hermaphrodite Trampoline Lipsyncher --ChoppingBlock
 Five Characters In Search Of A Mercy Killing. --The Interrupting Cow
 Here we have a preview panel from the Neil Gaiman comic "Dyspepsia of the Endless." --The Interrupting Cow
 Most people thought James Burke had gone too far when his "Connections" traced the links between transvestism and David Bowie. --Lowfyr "Must get... Bowie Joke in... help me, Spock."
 These folks all shop at Saks. Not Saks Fifth Avenue... Saks Full of Clothing for a Dollar! (bah-dum-dumm...) --rudy (thankew, thankew veddymuch!)
 Note the delicate, almost graceful way that she's yanking the scab off her chancre... --rudy
 Complete the following: There are not enough {A.bags B.beers C.shrooms D.rounds in my clip E.all of the above} in the world for me to do her. --rudy

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