IADL #469
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 Bitchbitchbitchbitchbitch LOOKOUTFORTHEGODDAMNHONDA!! bitchbitchbitchbitch... --rudy
 "Okay, honey, now it says, 'Slowly release the clutch pedal while applying pressure to the accelerator...'" --ewhac
 OK princess, arm the device and get ready to throw. Daddy's gonna make sure you're Magna Cum Laude one way or another! --Sparky
 "According to the GPS, we're smack in the middle of 'Dorskville'" --Mitch
 Yes, honey, I know more school zones are installing speed bumps, but speed bumps don't scream for their mommy when you run over them. --agm
 Jon, why is there a pile of Mercedes Benz hood ornaments in the glove compartment? --agm
 Diary, August 4: The line to exit the Woodstock '99 parking lot moved another few car lengths today. We may be out by Labor Day! --agm
 "KITT, begin evasive manuvers! KITT? Aww damn! You left the dome light on last night, didn't you?" --Bisti
 "Drive slower! My Tamagochi's getting carsick!" --Riff
 Distracted by the incessant beeping of Sara's "Gameboy Color", Mark aimed the car for a phone pole and sweet, sweet silence. --Skywise
 According to my Tri-corder, captain, it seems that every other fucking crew in the Federation has also travelled back in time to the 1990's. --Lowfyr (did too much LDS back in the 60's)
 My horoscope says "Look out Capricorn, Saturn is calling you to branch out and travel. Unfortunately you will be killed by your dipshit husband's horrendous driving." --Kearney
 *Beep Beep Beep* Ted, stop the car and drop your pants. The PDA says I've just started ovulating. --Crack Baby
 I thought life would be little more exciting after we got the Amulet of Yendor. --Ape with Attitude
 Lou and Susan were too preoccupied with the driving to notice little Timmy throwing the kittens out the back window, one by one. --narcoleptic
 "Dear, why does your Palm Pilot have an entry on today's to-do list that says End it all in an explosion of flame and twisted metal and blood, and take that nosy prying bitch with me!?" --narcoleptic
 Now that Red-light running was illegal, Joe had only barely been able to squeek past a Yellow light, and almost NEVER caught a Green light, no matter how hard he tried. --Valvoline (met a four)
 James and Claire prepare for a drive-by 'snooting'. --narcoleptic
 "Remove Funnybone..." ZART! You blew it, Charlie... - Why "Travel Operation" never caught on... --rudy
 "That last trick only paid $50, honey. Good thing I picked his wallet, too" --narcoleptic
 Ripping aside her silken bodice, he gazed upon her ripe mounds of womanhood...jesus, Ed, will you watch the damn road! --Mr. Andrew
 "It says a light car always has the right-of-way over a dark car. Wow, these Internet Rules of the Road sites sure come in handy." --Ken
 Joan is stunned as she comes across a picture of Dan's college roomate in a black lace teddy. "This explains a lot." she thinks to herself. --I am Kirok!!!
 While Laura fumbled with the puzzle, Stan's eyes were locked on the Cenobites in the black sedan. Pinhead just sneered back...and cranked up the Guns 'N Roses. --for(;;); (Self-salvaging doesn't *really* cause blindness, right?)
 It was Marsha's singing along with the Barry Manilow tape that caused the giant Demon to rise from the pits of Hell and crush their car like an eggshell --Honest Jon
 Laura dials her cell phone as Tom Green, still chuckling over his latest hooligans, turns the key on his black sedan. "Mr. President? Yes, we can ship his ashes back to Canada." --for(;;); (And Smokey's caption begat Pete's caption, which begat this caption)
 Another Profile in Heroism: Mark and Sarah Hibberd don't allow their physical limitations to cramp their style. Here, Mark uses his keen sense of hearing to locate other cars while Sarah uses a stopwatch and a Braille map to tell him when to turn. --Mycroft
 The date was going swimmingly until Lynne found my GameBoy port of Virtual Valerie. --Orrin Bloquy

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