IADL #472
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 *click* "Turn to the right!" *click* --Namgubed the Merry Elf
 "Yeah, but he's MY sweaty Greek illegal alien!" --The Enigma
 "Say, Edna, you get the feelin' we're bein' watched?" --narcoleptic (yeah, I had to)
 "Chu like my seester? Chu can have her! Only fi' dollars - what a bargain, eh?" --narcoleptic
 Diego practices his Vulcan Nerve Pinch while waiting for the bus... --narcoleptic
 Jose's psychiatrist had cured his hallucination about the orange bats, but the "ugly fat broad" hallucination was hanging tough. -- Crazy Climber
 Instead of a vision of the Virgin Mary, Jose's shadow cast an image of a giant penis. --Paisley thw wonder Pug
 The really scary part of the apocalypse wasn't the blood sea or the locust swarms. In fact, the scariest part for me personally was that on every alley, on every street corner, and every bus stop in the city of Chalupa, Mexico, I saw my long-dead brother Guillermo and my 4th Grade teacher, Sra. Gonzalez, having sex... --AQUALUNG
 "I've got a pistol under my towel! Take another step closer, camera boy, and I'll blow her tits off!" --narcoleptic (try #2)
 Ramon had a compulsive need to snap women's bra straps. Martha didn't put up with that kind of shit, however, and he ended up gargling with his own testicles. --narcoleptic (minty fresh breath!)
 Last place in the 'Laura Croft' impersonation contest sobs quietly. --Lots42@aol.com
 For about a week after the welfare checks came, Francis required both a kindly woman and a brick wall to remain vertical. --Norm DePlume
 Another sign that New York has become more tourist friendly: Many muggers will now gladly pause for photos. --Norm DePlume
 The years did not treat Madonna and Ricky Martin well, except that her breasts never sagged after years of confinement in cone-molds. --Leth
 And then we had Carne Guisada, Tamales Picada, Pico de Gallo...my date with Julio was great, but I farted up a storm that evenin'! --Jenn "Diggin' Deep" Dolari
 Garcia, about five yards from the pin, turns to his caddie for help. --Microman
 The Velasquez sisters weren't known for their looks, but they had style. --Kearney
 Edna had fallen a long way since her youthfull, call-girl days. Now she was reduced to giving handjobs under trenchcoats at the bus stop. --Mr. Schpanky
 Why no one brags about the Linuxworld groupie scene. --Ape with Attitude
 After the IRS reposessed his organ grinder and his trained monkey, Giuseppe was forced to prostitute his grandmother to support his ravioli habit. --Kearney
 "Damn You!! I warned you .. .When we start mixing human DNA and chimp DNA, mother nature will punish us all!!" Charlton Heston from "Gun Control is Just What those Filthy Apes Want." --Kearney
 Don't cry Mama. I will return to you a great matador. I will make you proud, you'll see. When is the bus? --Sparky
 Gretchen and Julio wait outside of the Price is Right studios for their winnings - a Tappan range and a case of Dinty Moore Beef Stew. --rudy
 I just KNOW that these two have an ad on a swingers board somewhere on the Net that describes him as "macho" and her as having "44DD." --rudy (but don't ask WHY I know it...)
 So, a Mexican, a Norwegian, and a Pole are waiting on a corner... --rudy
 America have been very very good to me. It wasn't very good to Mama, though. --Fluffybunny
 This is a double exposure of Consuela before and after her sex-change operation. --narcoleptic
 ...and you just know that the first phrase they learned when they got to America was "Attention K-mart shoppers!" --narcoleptic
 On Alcott Street, life moves a little slower. Apparently, so does evolution. --Hang 'Hey, that's my street!' Lose
 Here's George, his mother, and the 10 foot pole I wouldn't touch her with. --Hang Lose
 ...but being native Minnesotans, they patiently waited for the punk to fix his jammed paintball gun rather than risk embarrassing him by screaming and running away. --Rotter
 "And here's a slide of me with Guido, standing at the corner of 'Walk' and 'Don't walk'." --narcoleptic
 This grafitti art gets stranger every day... --Valvoline (reaching)
 Bra-Zeal-by Terry Gilliam --Les Miserables (salvaging Riff)
 And, for this summer, we see the trend to strappy, flattering below-the-knee "tacky" prints, artfully mismatched with tank tops and support stockings. Sassy!! --Nrrrd Diva
 Jose squeezed Gramma's trick shoulder as she massaged his gamey buttocks. It was a... close... family. --Nrrrd Diva
 In the end, there can be only one. But which one? --Lots42@aol.com
 The "Two Fat Ladies" took turns as pimp and prostitute, eventually saving up enough money for a motorcycle. --narcoleptic (trying to salvage the EXXXorcist)
 Street-walker tip #235: you get what you pay for. --Bad Girl
 Mafia boss Carlo " The Killer" Pisano had the ultimate body guard in "Howitzer" Helga Fucelli. --I am Kirok!!!
 Rosencratz and Guildestern Are Mexican Transvestites --narcoleptic (props to Leth)
 "Yeah, she may not look like much, but Mavis here can suck the chrome off your bumper. C'mon, give 'er a try!" --narcoleptic
 Wanda thought the nice stranger's rendition of "I'm a Little Teapot" was charming, until she realized what he meant by "this is my handle." --for(;;);
 The only problem with having both sex addiction and kleptomania is the dilemna: Take the bitch home or steal the biggest hockey stick in Wichita. Decisions, decisions.... --Ed's Room
 "The clean utilitarian look (bricks, chrome yellow pipe, concrete) is shown marred by the twin symbols of tastlessness and mundanity. Note the ominous blade, ready to execute them and thus in their death, their corpses will become post-modernly tasteful." --A Grouch

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