IADL #476

 After his 'lawn jockey' was stolen, Dave went to the thrift store to pick up a replacement 'lawn boy'. --narcoleptic
 "Kid's a quart low." --Lots42@aol.com
 "Look at this, condoms are 6 for 8 bucks. Back in my day......oh nevermind. Thats where you came from." --tupid
 A young Magneto realizes where north is. --for(;;);
 "Now, Mommy, get the axe NOW!!!" Francine sort of wished she hadn't taken Tommy to the poultry farm. --Gaijin Marty
 Gramma Julie just ignored Billy. For god's sake, the kid thought he saw Replicants everywhere. --Gaijin Marty
 "There she is! There's the woman who called me a dysfunctional, maladjusted, ill disciplined frog spawn! I demand a duel!" --A Grouch
 "I'll see you in the ball pit, Joey! You're dead, man...you hear me...DEAD!!!" --NATE
 Joyce demonstrates to her granddaughter the proper way to "lock and load" a Pez dispenser. --rudy
 Welcome to the Cracker Barrel. This noisy little fucker will be sitting at the next table. No matter WHERE you sit. --rudy
 "Honey, look! They have that darling "Startled Brat" weathervane - and it's 50% off!" --rudy
 Billy always loved "sparking" Grandma, especially after she got her pacemaker. --Mr. Kontoontwon
 Timmy's talent was just like dowsing, except that he could find sawdust instead of water. --Mr. Kontoontwon
 Every time he'd spot an adult bookstore, Timmy would cry and point and squeal until we actualy took him in. --Crack "So I can't spell when I'm falling down drunk, can you?" Baby
 I SEE DEAD PEOP... Oh wait, it's just the Rolling Stones. My bad... --Doc Evil
 Psychiatrist's log: the boy seems introverted and disturbed, frightened and tormented by weird voices. It will be months of hard work, but I think I can get him over the trauma of costarring with Adam Sandler. --Orrin "no chance in hell" Bloquy
 "You'll get yours, Timmy! Mark my words, if my dad wasn't here to seperate us, you'd be a dead kid! Hear me?" --Crack Baby
 "OK, that's the last time I let you stay up to watch Invasion of the Body Snatchers" --Leth
 "Avast, ye scurvy shoppers! Prepare to be pointed at and laughed about mercilessly! Damn your self esteem, ahar!" --A Grouch
 The Pedophiliac BoyToy [tm] comes with two fully functional holes and the exclusive Prostate Massage Finger (patent pending). Get yours today! --narcoleptic
 "Moments in Tourette's" --Ashhole