IADL #48
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 Okay, lessee...Grandpa wanted some chemicals for his experiments, Lilly needed a new mop to clean the sarcophagus, and Eddie wanted a couple of live chickens he could devour. Jeez, he's just not been the same since puberty. --Der arm Schmuck
 As the purple beam from planet Xantar penetrated into Jenny's brain, she found herself transmogrifying into a ravenous cougar. --jerright
 Roseanne Barr and Edward Hyde White, the REAL Red Shoes Diaries . --toade
 Wal-Mart finds another way to make a buck as it rents out part of the store for an airstrip. --Don Spudleone
 Laaaaddieeesss and gentlemen, and now the main event, for the super heavyweight champion of the world. In this corner, Miss Pussy Galore! Her opponent, the challenger, Alfred the butler! Let's get ready to ruummmmbbllleeeeeeeee!! --Don Spudleone
 "Mall Rats on Ice" was a colossal success throughout rural America. --Don Spudleone
 The Trenton Ballet Troupe's production of Cats was a big hit in the Trailertrash Mall K-Mart. --The Lawyer
 Paris? Milan? Tokyo? No...the hot designs burning up the runway this season can only be found in TUSLA! --Soso the Sphinx
 In a sad, yet morbidly funny turn of events, Justin was attacked seconds later by a near-sighted Rottweiler. --anon
 "... and you shake-it-all-about! You do the hokey-pokey and you..." --The Turtle
 Security? Great! I want you to arrest two pervets named Sigfrid and Roy, they've been following me all over the mall! --not elsie
 It's ' Trash Disco ' night at target! --Doc Evil
 Oh, I have no doubt that she can fly, but I'll betcha a dollar she smacks RIGHT into the ceiling! --Wilbur W.
 Coming soon, The Night of the Nerdy Dead! --The poor schmuck
 In Amsterdam, the red light district can be found easily; in America, it is not so obvious. --Don Spudleone
 I, Teegra, command the Gods of Light to do my bidding! --Don Spudleone
 This store caters to everybody -- from low-end white trash to upper-class manservants. --Don Spudleone
 Who would have known that hell looked so much like a Wal-Mart? --Don Spudleone
 The dangerously high levels of radiation from the lights had freakishly drawn the undead to shop here. --Don Spudleone
 If I could move my hand that fast, I'd never leave home! --Don Spudleone
 LuWanda the She-Beast lumbered off into mall, pulling the heads off several small children before her creator Jorge noticed she was missing --BrickBat
 "My nipples are watching you, camera boy." --Ngoc van Trimble
 The spirit of the bobcat imprisoned within her t-shirt would often compel Mandy to attack unsuspecting shoppers with cat-like ferocity. --Capt. phealy
 *DING* "This is store security. Will the woman singing `Do Ya Think I'm Sexy' in aisle thirteen please stop, immediately, and move quickly and calmly to the nearest exit, where we will meet you with a set of powerful restraints. Also, for the rest of our shoppers, there is a sale on throw rugs in Aisle Thirty-six. Thank you." *DING* --zedcon1, ka faraq gatri in training
 Angie followed the rainbow for miles, but alas, found no pot of gold. --Tom Fulp
 Confused animal rights activists continue to picket winter coat department of Mobile, AL Wal-Mart. --Heywood
 Auditions for "Showgirls II" were less successful than was expected. --Riff

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