IADL #481
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 FISH?!?!?! You gotta be fucking with my head here. I just spat falafels all over the damn keyboard. It's Fish!! Hey, c'mere, look - FISH!! Bet he's on the crapper. Helooks reflective enough. Like he's maybe expect a bloody stool or something from Berniece's cooking. Holyfuckit'sFish. Shit. Fish. --rudy
 I shouldn't have eaten those damnable hash brownies... --rudy
 "Here's the church, and here's the steeple - dang!" --narcoleptic
 The Oddfather --narcoleptic
 "I pray for you my son ... Oooooh, just a little lower." --Ken
 "Jason, please put on that Helen Reddy album. I feel like some Karaoke." --Ken
 Ahhh, mused Earl, life is good - a natty robe, a diamond tennis bracelet - and yet, I'd give it all up to get my thumbs back. --narcoleptic
 Velvet. It's not for everybody. --Stan Xhiao
 Sunday afternoon in the Vigoda Pagoda. No bathrooms more than twelve feet away. Lots of soft cushions. --narcoleptic
 DAMN! I am the finest fox at the rest home! --LiLi
 "Cokie Roberts....yes, she will be mine..." --mdxi
 Tiberius was tired and longed for rest. Yet - depraved as he himself was - he feared the consequenses of naming Little Boots as his successor. --mdxi
 "There it goes again. Turning itself on and downloading porn. I must call a technician." --Lots42@aol.com
 " 'Log Of Fag'. I must remember that one. Mumsy will be so amused." --Lots42@aol.com
 "Have her scrubbed and sent to my tent." --ewhac
 After two unsuccessful hours spent trying to unknot his robe, Marshall simply resigned himself to another night without love. --Uncle Dave
 His badness has changed his name from Abe Vigoda to "¢". Thank you. --crispy
 Hotbot's Vigoda-cam just doesn't have the suspense it used to. --Crack Baby
 Call, Conan. Please, for the love of God, call! --Crack Baby
 Abe Vigoda is Abe Vigoda in Abe Vigoda: The Abe Vigoda Story! --L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg
 Karl paused in his singing, and a wistful tear fell from his eye. "Why must the rain always come and wash the spider out? Ah, well, such is the way of the world." --L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg
 Thursten waits till no one is looking........For he knows he must get that piece of roast beef out of his teeth before he goes nuts. --tupid
 Thanks to my cleverly-planted rumors, the fools all think I'm dead. Now I shall unleash my vengeance on the world! --Werehamster
 His royal majesty stares at the royal breakfast and thinks..........fucking oatmeal again. --tupid
 "Oh, yes. I did it all for the nookie." --mdxi
 Even after he was able to get his lawyers to shunt the charges over to that "CHIPS" moron, he spent most of his time in the bathroom wondering what "sund. explns." meant. --Moe The Maneater
 "Ah, Detective Wojciehowicz, my old nemesis -- we meet again. But this time, the advantage is mine!" --Mycroft (ripping off Gary Larson)
 Bartolomeo Wonka ponders whether to have il Slugworth garroted by Oompa Loompas or put in licorice boots and thrown into the chocolate river. --The Mystery Roach
 "If that Johnny Bluejeans doesn't shut the fuck up, I'm gonna give him a Fish-hook, if ya catch my drift..." --K-Man
 Yes, the Masonic conspiracy is alive and well. --Stan Xhiao
 Little did Dr. Frankenstien know that Igor was quite the happenin bachelor. --Gobie
 But the cover art for "Fish: A Little Velvet, A Little Leather" is just the beginning. Tracks on the album include soulful renditions of "Delta Dawn," "Seasons In The Sun," "Take It To The Man, LeRoy," and a medley of tributes to women featuring tasty bits from "I Am Woman," "W-O-M-A-N," "Woman, Woman," "Woman," and "A Woman Is A Woman." --Stan Xhiao, inspired by Ken
 Ya know...I've spent my entire life waiting for the perfect time to unveil all my great Abe Vigoda jokes...but, suddenly...they all seem so inadequate. --Ogdred
 N is for Neville, who died of ennui. --Ogdred
 What if I told you this guy also runs a Nipple Server? --Heath
 Sooo... come here often? ...Oh, good, would you mind telling me where the hell we are? --rudy
 Two nubile young blondes walked in, took off their bathrobes, and began to oil each other. Damn, thought Abe. Still got it. --for(;;);
 "Scoliosis? I laugh in its face." --Stan Xhiao
 Abe's Hugh Heffner impression not only was not convincing, but it also left everyone a little nauseous. --Les Miserables
 It looks like Fish has been sleeping with the Mafia. --Les Miserables
 After the network cancelled "Fish," Vigoda did regional theater until hired by the Norge Filmendteleviske Borde to star and produce in the Norwegian adaptation, "Luetfisk." --Stan Xhiao
 "Yes, that's it. Take your clothes off, stick a feather duster up your ass, and dance around my chair as I watch. Yes, that's what I'm paying you for." --narcoleptic (damn, that Abe is a sick bastard!)
 After Major League Baseball failed to rescind the resignations of 22 of its umpires, many of the newly unemployed suffered from post-arbiter stress syndrome and would sit at home moping and making "Safe" and "Out" calls to the games going on in their heads. --Ken
 As he aged, Abe turned to natty clothes in a futile attempt to disguise the fact that he had to manually support his sagging chin. --Capn' Undead
 I'm not saying Abe's old. I'm just saying he's still pissed over being told to bind his son Isaac. --Orrin Bloquy
 "No, no, you're thinking of Milton Berle. However, I've got the best technique in Hollywood." --The Enigma
 In the end, it boiled down to this - no matter how impressive the flowing purple robes were, no matter how much respect they demanded in Greek culture, it scared the students when Ms. Johnson wore them....and it didn't make things better that she demanded to be called "Testicles." --The Enigma
 Tessio: The Musical was slammed by critics, but the public LOVED hearing Abe Vigoda's gargling baritone on lyrics like We got heads! Horses' heads inna beds!!! --Boris Baddenov
 Wesley decided to take the slow route to a sex change: one hand at a time. --flodnak
 Here I am ladies, waiting ever so patiently, like a little purple present, all wrapped up and ready unleash my inner passion! --Jackie
 Bernice, you shall be sleeping with the fishes. --Les Miserables
 I can't believe I got passed over for the Bella Lugosi part in Ed Wood...I wouldn't have needed those silly protheses like Landau, the bitch... --Mr. Schpanky
 And we're back on Lifestyles of the Sith and Famous with Darth Sidious. --Mr. ?
 Find out whomever made that Inspecter Gadget film and have them liquidated. --Mr. ?
 Damn that Marilyn Manson! I think I look plenty goth. --Magus
 And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why Joel Schumacher must not be allowed to direct another Batman film. --Pete
 Abe Vigoda Pokemon! I choose you! --Mr. ?
 Editor's Note: the correct background music for this picture is Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor. However, due to a server glitch, it will actually be accompanied by the Divinyls' I Touch Myself. We apologize for any inconvenience. --Mycroft
 "What are we going to do tomorrow night, Fish?" "The same thing we do every night, Wojo; try to take over the world." --Werehamster
 ~\o DAHN-dah-DAHN-dah ABE viGOdah... ~\o Even this couldn't bring the Knack back. --Orrin Bloquy
 Abe wasn't too keen on working with Erik Estrada in the planned TV show crossover "Fish and CHiPs". --K-Man
 Bernice, my love? In the wee hours of the morning, please delight me with some fellatio... --Doc Evil

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