IADL #483
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 "So let me get this straight. First we eat this pudding and then we get to ride on Hale Bopp? --Kearney
 You can't help but hide your face when your Kitchen Bank card expires. --K-Man
 Bruce had had enough of old skeezas wearing shorts. It was time to put those vericose veins back in pants where they belonged! --Brandolon Hill
 A white man in a white kitchen serving white food to whites; Apartheid lives! --Male Bimbo
 Clem and Joyce noticed the bloodied pile of khaki shorts and realized that the phrase "we serve the tourists of the city" had an altogether sinister meaning. --Nrrrd Diva
 "Ok let me get this straight. This pill will make me smarter? They look like rabbit turds!"....Teddys fleeting business suddenly took a turn for the worst. --tupid(iv'e taken dozens of them and they dont work)
 Ben slams a viagra before they order room service. --tupid
 "Ummm, excuse me - is falafel supposed to have gristle in it?" --narcoleptic
 Kozy Korner Kitchen was a hit until the new abbreviated signs came out. --Mr. ?
 You'd better order now. This place is going to be a Starbucks in five minutes. --Mr. ?
 Somewhere in this building, there's a room with sinks, stoves, fridges, and lots of cabinets, and a sign that says "Vacant Office". --flodnak
 "You already ate your food, sir." "Oh...okay." The Alzhiemers Clinic resorted to drastic measures to save food costs. --Lots42@aol.com
 "Well guys, I looked, but I can't find that damned secret passage to the study." --Ken
 After numerous complaints by the bloodbank patrons, Norman was forced to remove the word "Bitchin" from the juice and cookie stand. --Kearney
 For $100 extra, you can get Alice from 'The Brady Bunch' to clean your kitchen. For $200 extra, she'll show up wearing a French chambermaid outfit. --agm
 "Garcon, I must say that your wine list is scandalously inadequate!" --narcoleptic
 Starbucks' Salad Stand was a hit in Fresno, but the rest of the U.S.A. couldn't warm up to decaffeinated CROUTONS... --Boris Baddenov
 When the State Board of Education caught up with its 1945 clerical error, scores of retirees had to repeat 4th grade. "But damned if I'm having the mystery meat," Elwood grumbled as they made their way to the cafeteria. "Shut up and take your Centrum, Lurleen replied, "And can I have your tater tots?" --Gaijin Marty
 While visiting the clinic for the hearing-impaired, Bob proudly shows off his self-taught signing skills by ordering the Jell-o and whipped cream, completely unaware that he has just ordered the "poodles and fellatio" instead. -- mutantdog
 The Emperor's New Cuisine was a big hit among the foodies. --narcoleptic
 One door with two knobs? And one knob on half a door? This smacks of drunken Irish carpentry or an algebra problem with little imagination. --the Engine
 John found himself leaving with a fourteen dollar whore, when all he wanted to do is pay his parking ticket. --tupid
 Oh hell... I think this guy's shirt just fried the horizontal-synch pulse capacitor in my monitor -- mutantdog
 I know it smells pretty potent, but fine rat, like fine cheese, has a somewhat pungent odor. --Theodoric of York
 After poking his wife squarely in the eye, Palmer says "Now toast her buns or you'll get the same!" --Crapsman
 "Hello, Man. Could you direct us to Bathroom?" --Annna
 Principal Harris was not pleased when he returned from summer vacation to find his office converted into the synthetic drug lab. --just kidding, siren
 "You found what in your burger? Listen, buddy, I only spit in 'em. You'll have to talk to Ralph in the back about that. --A Grouch
 "No, we were really looking for a room with 'Cookatorium' on the window..." --Bob Scott
 Only in Silicon Valley can you get bacon and eggs, fried on an overclocked Pentium-II. --Heath
 Once the cops got wise to what the town's "saunas" actually were, brothel owners had to think up more clever fronts. --for(;;);
 "Yes, I'd like two orders of Food, please." --Mycroft
 Their gaspacho is a tad bland and the mutton is always underdone, but you must admit, this place has ambience out the ass! --RIZZZ
 "Why, Trevor, why? We didn't mind when you joined the Hare Krishnas or quit law school to work at this sleazy cafe but to find out you were submitting to the DFC all this time...you're out of the will!" --A Grouch

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