IADL #490
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 A limo full of dummies drove unhindered, a mansion full of popcorn sat unpopped, but a plume of smoke rose from Laura's stroller. Those nerds had fucked up for the last time. --for(;;);
 "Your turn, Melanie: Felix or Oscar?" --Heath
 Sherrie and her little toady Theresa always harassed Louise on her way through the harbor. They crossed the line, though, when they beat her up and took her lunch baby. --anon
 "Okay, so if I'm you two years from now, and she's me in five years, and she goes off her diet, then that means.... No, wait a second. If that means that.... Christ, this time travel stuff is confusing. --Magus
 No no no! Linnie Mae, How many times do I have to tell you? Right Hand on Hip, Left hand on Object, left knee Forward. Jesus, just how deep from Texas are you, anyway??? --SlappyJack
 Ah, the dockside...the smell of crabs, engine oil, fish, seaweed, creosote...and that's just from Sherri. --A Grouch
 I dunno. He just cries and cries and cries until I stick him on a harbor tour. --Crack Baby
 Suzy shuddered, knowing it would take some 488 captions for her well-intentioned but dull-witted boyfriend to tell those Internet geeks that her ass isn't that big. --Coalcracker
 Julie (#19388), Diane (#17369), Charlene (#21192). From the Wilt Chamberlain Retrospective --Ken (RIP, big guy)
 "He must be around here somewhere. Wait, Shawna, what's that behind you? Oh, sorry it's your butt again." --I am Kirok!!!
 Three members of the Los Angeles Prams discuss strategy for their upcoming stroller derby match against the Seattle Sidewalks. --Ken
 "Do I want to have an erotic experience that will rock my button-down mind to its very foundations? Well, I don't know...do they have day care?" --Pete
 "Elaine, it's not that we don't enjoy your bawdy sea-chanties, they just seem so ... unladylike. --The Golden Refugee
 And when he was born, he was no bigger than one of my fingers. That's why I named him Tom Index. --Mr. ?
 Dingo? What dingo? --Mr. ?
 History would later reveal unknowing parents to be a large stepping stone in the Baby Revolution --The EXXXorcist
 We've replaced this woman's infant child with a jar of Folgers Crystals, lets see if she notices the difference... --Kal
 While most stories focus on the Three Graces or the Three Fates, the Three Soccer Moms had their own place in Greek myths. --Pax
 Irene finally got tired of trying to tell people it was pronounced "Beeg-boo-tay" and just grew into her name. --B.Bonzai
 I'm Karl Malden. Don't let this happen to you; buy only American Tourister Overhead Baby Racks. --Orrin Bloquy
 "You were right, Sherl...the little fella floated down there for exactly 5 minutes and 23 seconds...you always were the smart one. Starbucks then?" --Sylvester McMonkey-Mcbean
 Nice, wide hips. Good for childbeari-- oops, too late. --Mycroft
 Three's Company was never the same after Jack's sex change. --Hos
 "I get to ride in the stroller next!" "No way, bitch - it's my turn!" --narcoleptic
 "Gosh, I never would have thought that sea otters ATE human infants!" --Nrrrd Diva
 I was going to be cheeky and make a crack about her ass, butt... --rudy
 Y'know, I bet her purse stuck to her ass when the paint dried... --rudy
 ...but then when a mugger tried to steal my purse, she roundhouse-kicked his head clean off his shoulders! We never commented on her figure again. --for(;;);
 Either these women are talking about: A. The size of their men's penises or how long they last in bed. B. What happened on the latest Oprah/Young and the Restless . . . or C. What sweet deals they got on these designer fashions at Target. --peckinpaugh
 The Second Wives Club. Three women, having had their marriages destroyed for the crime of being younger and better-looking than the First Wives Club, plot their revenge. I wept when Sarah Jessica Parker used the nipple clamps on Bette Midler. Three stars. --Pete
 Buck, buk-buk, buk, buckaw, buk buk buk, SQUAWK!!! Buck, buk buk... --Valvoline
 Okay, Nancy, pushing a stroller around might excuse those thighs, if you had a baby to push around in it. --Norm DePlume
 "You're wearing the same purse as I am! I am sooooo embarrassed!" --RipperJak
 No, no...nothing's wrong. It's just that I suddenly remembered a conversation we all had in high school, and I couldn't help but notice that I'm not a best-selling horror novelist, you're not on the African continent reporting on human-rights abuses while evading government death squads, and Susan hasn't been found dead of a heroin overdose with the drummer from Whitesnake. But hey, spending an afternoon away from our husbands is pretty wild, too. --Rotter
 But the plans fell apart when Farrah refused to come out of her trailer for the reunion of Charlie's Angels. --Bad Girl
 Picture #490 concludes this special edition of IADL: Ass Week. --Bad Girl
 I feel sorry for the poor sailor that has to pick among these hookers. --Brandolon Hill
 Harbor. Noun. An inlet surrounded by a land mass. Yes, I would like a tour. --Bad Girl
 Losing track of time is one thing. Failing to notice that the kid has learned to walk and is following the nice man with the cotton candy is rather more disturbing. --flodnak
 Centuries later, the MacBeth witches reunited, only to be secretly disappointed to learn they had all become soccer moms. ----Tice
 "Fine, fine, you two can debate the merits and evils of selling your child into slavery til the cows come home, the fact remains that Junior is gone and I got this cool diamelle tennis bracelet out of the deal!" --RIZZZ
 Rhonda stood up from her ass holster to join the conversation. --Bassman
 Ship of fools, tug boat of crackwhores --Mr. ?
 Though no one spoke of it openly, it was painfully obvious that Lisa still had a lot of guilt more than a year after the abortion. --Mycroft
 "So, sinkers or floaters?" --alphonzo
 "Mrs. DiCaprio, meet Mrs. Feldman. She's here to welcome you into the Moms Of Has-Beens Club." --Heath
 For witches, the term 'Baby Food' takes on a whole new meaning. --Mr. ?

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