IADL #493
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 "Yes, I can see that it's a black coach drawn by flaming skeletal horses, but does it go to the corner of Maple and West?" --RIZZZ
 Tourists are easily spotted in Chicago, as they are the only ones who still openly gawk when Roger Ebert tackles and eats a live pigeon. --jeffrey
 The young man in the red bandana keeps reaching into his knapsack for a) his lunch b) his cigarettes or c) the reassuring touch of his mother's head. --jeffrey (snitching an old Letterman joke)
 He glanced at the talent to his right and reproached himself. They'll come to you. Just let the cigarette, the camo pants, the backwards baseball cap, and the sullen disaffected look work their magic. --Rotter
 "I think it's, like, the return of Christ or something. Anyway, what I was saying about Ross and Rachel..." --peckinpaugh
 "From here I see . . . one, two, three . . . yes, seventeen. I see seventeen Starbucks. And three Wal-Marts." --peckinpaugh (isn't America great)
 "I wish they would hurry up and stop firing in there. I have to get my geometry test finished." --peckinpaugh
 Some guy eating a live black poodle on a street corner really doesn't catch my attention either. --peckinpaugh
 "Ewwww! It's that creepy Mickey coming to talk to us! Better call Tank for a way out!" Several generations into the future, the Children of the Matrix have a hard time not abusing their priveleges. --Phat Cheops
 And every ten days, the Magic Bush would give birth to another skank. In return, Odin gave Loki's head to the dwarf. --for(;;);
 See no evil...Speak no evil..."Hey, here's that candy bar I thought I'd lost, yummy." --Ms. Anne Thrope
 In many countries, citizens just don't see a military coup as that big of a deal. --phil
 They all looked at the scene before them, and how funny it was. "How silly they all look," Margaret said to her friend Beth. Suddenly, one of them shouted out a caption. --phil
 ...from our vantage point we can see a small pack of prolificus trailerparkai,what we commonly call street trash out marking their territory (or hanging). A young male, or stud, has put his rougish appearance to good use and gotten an early start on collecting his own harem ( or stable) of females (or bitches). Notice the bright, yet decade-out-of-style, plumage... - Desmond Morris' The Inhuman Animal --SlappyJack (it's much funnier if you can imagine Desmond's voice doin' it...)
 "I fingered the yellow buttons of my sweatshirt, the metallic aftertaste of the uppers still on my tongue. I shivered with spastic anticipation -- this was the moment I had been preparing for my whole life." --ATT-Man, DIAL 1800CALLATT RIGHT FUCKING NOW: A Retrospective --for(;;);
 Class project in Urban Camoflauge 101: Bruce wears his "Bush Pants." Wanda and Marie both attempt to blend with the phone booth. Shanda, however, hits a home run with her "Pole Ensemble." --the rev
 "Thirty five freaking cents? Forget this! Hey, Bob! HEY! BOB! OVER HERE!" --Lots42@aol.com
 "Yeah, 1121 Bolime Court.. Yeah, cheese and mushrooms, and extra anchovies... Oh yeah, I'll be home, but you may talk to my dad, he has alzheimer's... ..just tell him that you want to talk to 'Marsha' and if he gets belligerant, just keep yelling into the door, I'll probably be downstairs nake-er, downstairs..." --AQUALUNG
 It turned out "Godot" was some naked dude in a trenchcoat. --for(;;); (salvaging rudy)
 With the combined use of their Migraine Ray, Thumb-Sucking Ray, and their What-The-Hell-Is-That-Crawling-Around-In-My-Purse Ray, the aliens soon had the Earth well under control. --DieLifeDie
 Dammit! Anybody got a pitch pipe? My red box went out of tune again. --Elkman
 No, no, still no good. You, in the headband, put out yer smoke and get in a prone position on top of the phone booth. And Ms. Purple-Leg-Warmers-Who-Just-Walked-Out-Of-1982? Yes, you need to move over and become the subject of the blonde's ill advised photograph. And you in the white coat... ahh, it's hopeless. This picture will NEVER have proper feng-shui... --rudy
 "I don't get it... why is it smashing that car?" --rudy
 The last survivors of the "Kudzu Takeover of 2063" are pictured here, trying to a keep a lookout for their leafy nemesis, but ultimately failing. --FireVampire
 Holly turned around and cupped her hands to her mouth. "Get off the goddamn shed!" --sx
 I wish that guy would change his camoflauge pants. I keep losing him. --Valvoline
 That's a BIG FUCKING CHIA PET. CHRIST!! --HOLY JESUS BATFUCK!!
 Hey you in the red bandanna! The Manson trial is over! You can stop sitting around carving Swastikas in your forehead! --connect-o-beard
 Sally Struthers' existence went from desperate to critically pathetic when she started handing out degrees in accounting, business management, or nursing to just any bum on the street. --peckinpaugh
 Four different people. Four totally different takes on the question, "Does size matter?" --The Golden Refugee
 POV: The incredibly, massively, huge fucking dog closing in on his next puny victims shortly before being besieged by the military might of the entire Japanese Army. --I am Kirok!!!
 haaaaaaaa... > ssssniiiif < yep. breath is fresh, bandana is tight, pants are hip. now just need to figure out which one is gonna be my lucky lady tonight --slappyjack
 "1-900-ZWEBL...dammit, Cheryl, where's the friggin umlaut key?" --The Dodge
 Holly and Karen become quiet and serious when they recognize Paulie Shore sitting near them. "One of us must kill him." whispers Karen, "For the good of all humanity." --I am Kirok!!!
 No way that's a dog... a big horse, maybe. Or it could be a truck. --Kurt L.
 "From here I see . . . one, two, three . . . yes, seventeen. I see seventeen Starbucks. And three Wal-Marts." --peckinpaugh (isn't America great)
 "What's that? 'From rover at ate?' Damn semaphore! I wish someone would invent something that allows people to talk over great distances!" --Wabewalker
 "Hi, you busy? Oh, nothing, just another disturbance in the force..." --K-Man
 You know what this picture needs? Bagpipe background music! --Slibs
 People just don't put the effort into country line-dances anymore! --Hos
 New game... Dial zero to make a collect call, then wait and see which celebrity shows up first to scold you for it. --Magikaldragon
 "Hello, 911? Yeah, some guy just walked through that guy's car! No, he just walked right through it. And then flashed a roll of Mentos." --Bad Girl

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