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 Earl left plenty of room on the bench for all the lovely ladies who would be impressed by his food blister. --Jadie
 Excitement mounts at the LaRouche Party nominating convention. --Ian Abrams
 For the second time that morning Bob heard the cows. And he knew he must soon be moving on. --anon
 "All by myself; all byyy myyyself...." --Darlin'
 I Drank some MD 20/20 and woke up on this Metal Bench in Alburqurque . --Chris Keeley
 There, there, easy girl. Laugh at me for having a pet cockroach, will they? We'll show them! --Greg J
 "Okay. Sloooowly. Slooooowly. Don't look over at her. I'll just slooowly brush my fingers against her thigh. Almost there..." --Blake
 Day 4 of Mr Jenkin's exciting vacation at the Amtrack terminal. --el Marko
 Dewey Feltch, journeyman baker, was about to learn the hard way why Mr. Beasley had warned him not to lean against the loaf slicer... --The Sandman
 Guys, come on, it was just these new shoes, not me. Come on back. Guys? --Greg J
 And, as usual, Bill was saving a space for Jesus to sit down at the park. We all figured his eccentricities were harmless. Who would have known. --Greg J
 Hey Baby. Want to see where I don't have herpes? --Monk n Treb
 ...but it was too late. When Terry turned his head during the part about "yes ma'am, I'll bet if you and me fucked on here we'd lose skin like cheese on a grater," Mrs. Jenkins seized the opportunity and fled. --Kurt S.
 ...and this is a shot of our subject just before we hooked the jumper cables to the bench... --The Unmasked Revenger
 Actor Peter Boyle is just one of many Hollywood types who enjoy spending their spare time in the great outdoors. Boyle's unique hobby is feeling up park benches. --zed
 Yup...no doubt about it... this is wet paint again. Christ, I am so screwed. How do I keep doing this? --zed
 As Tony saw his mark, he slowly reached for his piece, only to realize that he'd left it in the cafeteria. Don Spimoni would not be happy. --Greg J
 A beautiful green aluminum bench,. . . and it's all mine, mine, MINE! Mua-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa! --Capt. phealy
 Having been denied a left arm from childhood, Jeffy was determined that his right arm would have all the room it needed. --Capt. phealy
 The locals all knew not to sit next to Frank on "Burrito Tuesdays". --Capt. phealy
 Harvey neither saw nor heard the silver bullet which, in a fraction of a second, would penetrate the bald spot on the back of his head. --Joanne
 Goddam teenage punks and their crazy glue. HEY SOMEONE,HELP! I'M STUCK TO THE BENCH! ANYONE! Please? --anon
 Oooooooohhh, aluminum...... --anon
 Alvin tried to look inconspicuous as he slid his nuts back and forth on the cold, ribbed bench. --kafka
 Just come sit down over here... that's it... --Lynn McDonnell
 Feels like bird doo...no, it's sticky, like snot...waitaminnit, it feels more like...OH, NO! --E.Jack

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