IADL #500
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 it's a difficult lie, in the courtyard like that, and still over 250 yards to the hole. I think I'd use a pitching wedge and- Wow, Spinn has surprised the crowd by foregoing the obvious pitching wedge and using a flourescent tube! The European contingent is not going to like this obvious showboat tactic! --Leth
 Maybe renting the video version of the Necronomicon was a bad idea... --Mr. ?
 P.J. never knew who Rodney King was... until the day the lawyers started calling. --Elkman
 This must be IADL #410 in a parallel universe. --K-Man
 The Club. Endorsed by Spinn and seal beaters everywhere. --Leth
 They sure don't make gargoyles like they used to. --Ken
 I see Doc Evil finally got that 9-iron. --K-Man
 None of DFC #500's takes on how the site was ending came even close to the disturbing truth. --Magus
 Editor: Check. Melon headed creature: check. Phallic weaponry: Check. Alright, commence caption 500 --Mia D.
 I'm having flasbacks and I never even TOOK acid. --Lots42@aol.com
 So that's Lord Sarnak. --K-Man
 Cthulhu finally takes a stand on the DFC legality issue... 2 months late. --K-Man
 Whoa. I wonder what the other DFC panels look like when enlarged. --K-Man
 Jeffy's formula worked, and the last words P.J. heard were a resounding "GOOD ON YOU, MATE!" --K-Man
 You want Marfan syndrome? I'll show you Marfan syndrome!!! --Nyder
 DFC II: This time, it's Personal. --Nyder
 "Soylent Green is made of--" smack! "Does Daddy know you're a--" smack! "Trippin my nutsak in a frenzy of--" smack! Crude, but effective reeducation for all at the Difficult Zone Reformatory Institution. --Nyder
 This is obviously a fake-up. Neither Spinn nor Peej have a pennant. --Orrin Bloquy
 Unfortunately, Bil hired The World's Worst Mohel for PJ. --Ken
 $10 that PJ kicks his ass. --Slibs
 Although his efforts had thus far been disappointing, PJ decided to have one more go at summoning the Elder Gods. --Nyder
 Pokemon Spinn figured it would be easy to defeat Pokemon PJ. He hadn't counted on PJ's magic pants-wetting powers, to his chagrin and ultimate embarrassment. --Pokemon Elkman
 I pirated Photoshop for this?!?!?! --for(;;);
 Behind Spinn were Bil, Jeffy, and Billy, "crossing the streams." --for(;;);
 "Hey you kids! Git outta my yard and take yer damn newfangled TV with ya!" As an old man, the Amazing Colossal Man was a crotchety old prick. --Leth
 By the makers of a Family Circus Valentines Day and a Family Circus Kwanza, comes A Family Circus Asswhooping. --Mr. ?
 Rook! Is Spinnzirra! --aK h
 You wanna see the actual bludgeoning? Wait for #1000. --The Enigma
 Well, tonight I've learned an important lesson - vodka and Quake just don't mix. --The Enigma
 The Second Coming caught much of the religeous community completely off-guard. --Magus
 "PJ whimpered. He knew it was over. We all did. The little guy wanted to go out on a soft note - a tear for a clown. A Louisville Slugger for a wretched little shit was more like it! Yeah! *THWAP! THWAP! THWAP!* I split his skull like an eggshell. I was going out, but it was gonna be on my terms - in a blaze of fucking glory!" Hey, YOU try editing the DFC for 5 goddamn years!, The Greg Galcik Story. --K-Man (Blatantly ripping off Flan!.)
 Tolar the Fire Giant is about to backstab PJ. ROll for surprise. --Crack "Better Bet I'm Surprised!" Baby
 Six months after landing in Lilliput, with no regular-size women in sight, Lemuel Spinn goes postal. --Orrin Bloquy
 Prophecies of Nostradamus, 246:13: And in the last days shall vengeance be sought as the Spinner of Webbes focuses his wrath Keanely upon the fortress stronghold. Oceans shall rise, cities shall tumble; the ferns shall return to the forest and the oing to its jar, and the populace shall cover the windows of the Star Buck with pieces of yellow paper. --Nyder
 "Good morning - this is your alarm call..." --Darren
 The "Family Circus Marionette Show" was the most popular part of the Criminal Psychiatric Institute's annual "Rehabilitation Revue." --Darren
 Uh oh. PJ's gonna get his temperature took..... --Stealth
 "Dammit, Deb, there's more of these things! I guess we should call Orkin after all..." --Leth
 DFC's "Singapore Vacation" --OAK
 "How's the reception now? Any better?" --OAK
 OK, so once the Spinn Ninja lands safely in the courtyard, we all climb out, taking PJ entirely by surprise... --rudy
 And you thought that Thel could clean house... --rudy
 If this were a movie, some idiot sitting behind me would say "Wait'll you see Peej's head bounce off the parapets!" and ruin the whooooole ending. --rudy
 "Welcome to the real world, Neo." --Riff
 "This is the way the DFC ended, this is the way the DFC ended, this is the way the DFC ended, not with a bang but a..." WHAP!!! --Joe Z
 Peter turned and said to PJ, "Why couldn't you think of something like the Stay Puft Marshmallow man?" --Hobgobble
 King Features' new miniature golf course had to close amid soaring repair costs. --ewhac
 All your favorite characters are here at the Family Circus Miniature Golf Course. Sneak the ball past KittyKat's swishing tail at hole four (par 3), and then challenge your sense of balance by the distorted perspective of hole seven (par 5). A white featureless void (with matching barriers) awaits you at hole 11 (par 9). Uncle Roy greets you at hole 13 (par 1), and Jeffy's world-famous hair will levitate your ball through hole 15 (par 3), while Billy will confound you with the pipe in his head at hole 16 (par 37). After negotiating your ball past Not Me and Ida Know on hole 17 (children par 2; adults par 9), try to win a free game from the lovely Thel by landing your ball in exactly the right spot at the 18th hole. --ewhac
 "P.J., my friend. What can I do? My hands are tied here. Did I not tell you several months ago when you insulted Don Vito that if you ever show your friggin' face here again, you were gonna end up face down in a Jersey marsh? And now you come to me, tears runnin' down your face, beggin' me to make everything all right again. No, my friend. This I cannot do." --ana coluthon
 Oh, spinn, while you're Photostopping, could you make a few mods to DFC #497? Thanks. --Horselover Fat
 Caution: Only small doses of "Barrel o' Whup Ass" should be used at any time... --Namgubed the Merry Elf
 "I'll show you parody, you legal dipshits!" --bassman
 And it looks like Hurracane Spinn will be delivering 170 mph winds and a fierce stick-beatings to the entire region. --Mr. ?
 Silent Bob takes the brown acid. --for(;;);
 "Foolishness is bound in the heart of the child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." -- Proverbs 22:15 --the scottish valkyrie
 Spinn growled in frustration as he realized that PJ was on holy ground. --Doctor X
 "I'm gonna beat you like a melon-headed step-child." --Fleeb
 Now I have to make a sanity roll after just seeing this. --Mr. ?
 You think your 2D6 Web Editor is so fucking great? My 4D6 Crying Momma's Boy has a shiv! --Jenn Dolari
 Cut! Cut! Will the hulking behemoth please remember his cue?! --Jenn Dolari
 "Holy sweet Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket with mayonnaise, mustard, and swiss cheese on a lightly toasted sesame seed hard roll, with a side of 'Satan's own' blasphemous curly fries and a large Jamocha shake, humping the disembodied head of a batter-dipped Buddha-on-a-stick while Allah looks on in disgust from his $600/mo. penthouse apartment and wonders where all the love in the world has gone, that's one big fucking...err...What was I talking about again? Ooh, clowns!" --the Society to Rid the Earth of Celine Dion
 A man, a plan, a castle, women, Spinn, amyl, Lisa, Olestra, Wayne, Peej, a libel, ivy or a lobe, Doc Evil, a nut, God, a cam, a boob, a mac, a dog, tuna, live cod, Ebola, Roy, vile Bil, a Jeep, Enya, warts, E.L.O., a silly man, nips, Nemo, welts, a canal-- Panama! --Horselover Fat
 Finally! They refilmed "The Borrowers" with *my* script! --Orrin Bloquy
 Finally, a Macy's Thanksgiving float I can relate to. --Orrin Bloquy
 Don't you just hate it when the director feels compelled to make a cameo in his own project? I mean, Hitchcock was tolerable, but... --Paul T. Riddell
 Geez, it looks like Thelma gave Dolly an overdose of steroids --k.a
 Motorola's new V+ Chip comes with a guarantee that within 3 weeks your children won't be watching any objectionable programming. --Ken
 This is what happens when you stand to close to the television when you are a cartoon character next to a castle and stuff. --sam
 I had this same dream except I was naked and watching Dobie Gillis. --I am Kirok!!!
 "Nobody... and I mean NOBODY can visit my goddamn site through WebTV!" --K-Man
 The day Janeane Garafolo decided she'd had enough --Bleech_
 Add a teletubby or two and my nightmare is complete. --Wabewalker
 It was when Spinn missed and smashed the TV that he got PJ angry. Then all hell broke loose! --Mr. ?
 Frankly, I would be anticipating what follows with a lot more, well, glee if I knew for sure that that was a 1970s era 25 inch Zenith. Those big new flat screen projection jobs just don't implode with the same body-piercing-ten-inch-shards-of-glass-through-the-spleen satisfaction that the old cathode ray tube TVs do. --rudy
 You'd be pissed too if you made your way through burning briar bushes only to find that Sleeping Beauty is really just one of the seven dwarfs in pajamas. --Jackie
 The psychic fern ran like hell. Its time would have to come later. --Magus

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