IADL #501
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 Oh, for the love of Warhol, not another Velvet Undergound reunion! --A Grouch
 "You're right, Edna. The railing does taste like bird shit." --BrightGuy, wronger of rights
 Juuuuuuust a second, here....whose finger am I sucking on, exactly? --Gaijin Marty
 Every day I'd watch the patients shuffle slowly to the edge of the 'exercise yard'. Inevitably, one of them would press against the trick fence, tipping it over slowly, only to slide off and out into thin air. Querulous and crotchety screams would echo off of the nearby buildings all the way down, and the fear would grow. Until Pudding Time.- Dr. Slappy , "Hilarious Treatments for Alzheimers And Other Practical Jokes" --Republicanus Tyrannus
 After the elections in 2000, so many fled north to Canada that they had to be kept in special interment camps. --Dvandom (does it MATTER who wins?)
 Another sell-out crowd at the Thunderdome. --Valvoline
 "I saw Jurassic Park, sixty years ago. I never thought it would come true." --OAK
 "Say, would you lovely ladies mind going out for a drink later? If you're both of legal age, of course..." Harold, always the charmer, used the top of the 32nd Street Financial building to pick up the elderly for his own sick, twisted needs. --AQUALUNG
 "Ma'am, the represenatives of the Macy's Day Parade would like you to stop pitching pennies. You've killed three drummers and popped Snoopy." --Lots42@aol.com
 This is the worst alien abduction I've been to, ever. --Mr. ?
 "Attica! Attica! ... always wanted to say that!" --Riff
 "Hey, I can see my hand from here!" --Riff
 *sniiiiiiiiifffff* "Ah, you only get the good, high-quality smog up here, don't ya?" --FireVampire
 "Rose? Rose? Oh, tarnation, she's having another flashback to POW camp. Help me get some Prozac into her before she does something we'll all regret..." --Nyder
 "Well, I'll be durned. Henry made it over! He's over the wire! He's on the ground! He made it! He made it! He-- oh, never mind. So, what's for dinner?" --Nyder
 As an old man, Doc Evil began to relax his standards of feminine hygiene. --Nyder
 "Hi, I'm Frank. Look, I was just standing over there, and I couldn't help admiring your wrinkles. Mind if I sit down?" Frank HAD promised to completely change his ways after he got out of jail after being convicted for pedophilia, and he'd always prided himself on keeping his word. --Mikki
 "Edna! Edna! Hold on! The restuarant is gonna start spinning FASTER!!" --the scottish valkyrie
 Rehearsing Adagio for Strings on the Biggest Fucking Harp. --the scottish valkyrie
 "Yes, Edna, we can see it. Yes, it's gross all right. Of course we believed you. Now put your damn third nipple away and button up your sweater, for Christ's sake!" --Nyder
 Exclusive behind-the-scenes look at Spielberg's latest creation, Geriatric Park --Zoltar the Not-so-Great (desperatly seeking self-salvage)
 I'd mock him, but I'm wearing the exact same shirt. Thanks for the self-esteem, Greg. --Samwise(does he shop at Tarjhey, too?)
 Hang on tight! When we rotate to the Gary, Indiana, side, the whole tower bends the other way. --Coalcracker
 "Your colostomy bag? Oh my." --rudy
 Hey! Two more people and their heads make the Big Dipper! --Hos
 "Edna and Carl grew concerned for their friend. It seemed wherever they took Ruth she sat down and began playing the imaginary slot machine in front of her." --Doihle
 Good news: In the future, there won't be any more old-folks retirement homes. Bad News: There will be old-folks retirement planets. Worse News: With all the medical advances coming, you'll probably be a perminent resident --Mr. ?
 Damned little kids. Leaving their loogies on the handrail like that. Let me buff that off for ya. --rudy
 The guards wouldn't have caught on if Wanda hadn't waved to Big X. --Captain Howdy
 "Oh, I just love our new off-world Mormon colony. And look over there! Some native giant bugs!" --Captain Howdy
 Chicago's vulture problems were a thing of the past once they started using the right bait in the Sears Tower BuzzardZap. --HasNoName
 "Okay, now put one foot in my hands..." Dr. Kevorkian resorts to simpler methods. --NME--
 High above downtown Seattle // There's an awful smell // Most folks think it's Puget Sound // But I know it's Estelle. --Ken
 Reginald was a pervert in the worst way and would often hit up old ladies for their soiled Depends. --I am Kirok!!!
 "As I said, ladies, this is pure, high grade powder. Give it a taste." "MMmm! Rhonda give him the cash, this shit's the boom!." "Bomb, Gretchen. The word is bomb. Don't make me smack those cat-eyes off your face, bitch." --unclejoey
 Kinda' makes y'all wanna spit, don't it. --Uncle Roy
 Get it, gals? I'm the Highest class gigolo in these parts. Heh heh........... what? --deadcoil (Low class gigolo)

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