What department-store mannequins do on their day off. --Nyder
They tried to ignore it, but they just couldn't. The warm, friendly glow of the Gap just kept pulling them closer and closer, like moths to a flame. --FireVampire
Alice looked at the painting, and somewhere deep down, she knew she should change the channel so that she could watch "Buffy". --FireVampire
20-year reunion at the Three Mile Island daycare facility. --Nyder
Tobacco chewing's new demographic --Ken
"Like, must walk into, like, the light, y'know?" --Dvandom
January 1, 2000, O'Hare Terminal 3: "Huh. Plane crash. 36th one today." --Trainman
Secretly, Debbie worried that she was just not blonde enough. --Michael 808
The fight started about the same time they realized only one tanning bed was working. --Mr. ?
Exercise time at the Mt. Pleasant Home for Girls Who Are Vaguely Cute, But Not What You'd Call "Hot" --MrScary
"Jessica, shhhh. Tell me, does this purse cover my boner? No, don't look. Just... nevermind." --MrScary
As nuclear winter set in, a single word rattled through their brains: Whatever. --Oingmaster One.
Another exciting night at Stepford's only lesbian bar. --Nyder
Auditions for Leery, Blurry, Shy, and Asocial, the Seven Brides for Seven Dwarves musical, are now under way. Method acting at its finest! --Weasel
"Click here for hot teens standing in line to buy books" --Doihle
A weekly meeting of I've-Had-Inside-Lighting-Installed-In-My-Skull Anonymous. --Darren
Indiana Jewel averts her eyes just as Britney discovers why never to open the Ark of the Covenant. --Orrin Bloquy (we named the *dog* Jewel)
Having a party on the patio was the best idea Carla and Jamie ever had. That is, until some blotto freshman decided to piss on the bug zapper. --Unsupervised
"Look at that monk...he's setting himself on fire. *sigh*...That is so 1960s." --It's Claude!
Awwww, Hell... Uncle Fred's used liquid oxygen on the briquettes again... --Doc Evil
Focus her and bring her to me... --Doc Evil
The newest crime fighting trio, the Plutoneum Girls, really had a hard time with that whole secret identity thing. --Mr. ?
Say, um, Janine, isn't that your Pinto? --rudy
"As if! No, I am not going to walk towards the light - there's this, like, killer sale at Abercrombie & Fitch!" --narcoleptic
Tiff, you'd better look the other way. You'll tan unevenly and that is soo gross. --rudy
"I feel a bit light-headed." --Darren
A moment later, Jennifer and Mindy were carried away by the Gapture --Bleech_
We don't make the makeup, we make it brighter... --unclejoey
That fateful day, millions of teenage girls found out that Nutrogena was not Y2K compliant. --Mr. ?
I'm, like, MELTing. That is SO gross! Dorothy, you bitch! --The Mad Puffin
Exposed to a huge burst of gamma radiation, Willimina Bixby becomes...The Incredible Sulk! --unclejoey
"Welcome to the Starbucks Family Planning Center! Take a number!" --manfest destiny