IADL #510
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 "Ah... the mists are beginning to clear... I see a girl... a girl feeding penguins... That'll be $45 please." --Darren
 o/` Feed the seals, tuppence a fish... o/` --Namgubed the Merry Elf
 "Quick lads, close your eyes, concentrate on the space between your flippers and hum like I told you...heh heh....this always freaks them out....then their heads explode." --sasquatch
 "Two Cornettos and a weak orange squash please. When does the film start?" --sasquatch
 The firemen couldn't rescue Baby Jessica this time, but they could send down some fun pets to keep her entertained. --Annna
 It is very dark. You are likely to be eaten by a penguin. --Doctor X
 This must be Les Miserables as presented by SeaWorld. --the scottish valkyrie
 We just found them in the pond one day... we don't know where they came from. Black, lumpy, shiny things, swimming around like they belonged there. We were a little intimidated at first, but now they're like members of the family. Melissa gets in and swims with them every once in a while. And boy, do they love Cap'n Crunch. --Mycroft
 Linus Torvalds' wet dream. --Bad Girl
 Finally. A fetish I don't have! --Bad Girl
 Meryl Streep is Yaz Pistachio in "Penguin Lust: A Story of Forbidden Love." I smell oscar. --The Golden Refugee
 When the pressures of life get too much to bear, Maria Shriver retreats to her "happy place." --The Golden Retriever
 Janice didn't like going down into the septic tank to break up the larger pieces. The bloody penguins didn't help either. --FluffyBunny
 Steve had thought that Debbie was just being mean, but damn, here was proof: it was Saturday night and she really would rather be waist-deep in water holding a bucket of smelly fish than go out with him. --Rotter
 First Contact is always a touchy process; fortunately, Ensign Saunders brought plenty of fish parts. --Weasel
 "Just take one hit this time, Wally. I don't wanna have to fish you out of the koi pond again." --agtorange
 No, really, Frank, it's not YOU...it's ME. I've just...changed, is all. I'm sorry... No, no, really, I don't think that some regurgitated mackerel would change my mind.... --Gaijin Marty
 No...Larry ordered the herring plate. I ordered the Smelt jubilee with a side of anchovies. --Nate-O
 LaToya stifled a laugh as she fed the last of Bubbles the chimp to Michael's unsuspecting penguin pals. --Nate-O
 "Cthulhu! Stop dimming the lights and trying to eat my soul! I'll feed the Elder God exhibit next." --Spun Clyde
 Hmmmm... Did I miss this booth on Career Day? --Rodney
 "Do you know why there are no polar bears in Antarctica?" purred the penguin. Then they fed. --crispy
 "So it turns out Marty is gay, and he and Steve have been rendezvousing every afternoon..." Not only did the penguins always have the best gossip, but they were surprisingly easy to bribe, unlike the belugas. --crispy
 "Hi, my name is Judi. Would you like to hear our specials?" --Helder
 "Yes, madam jailkeeper... er, I mean, trainer... I've got something in my eye. Would you mind leaning way, way over within range of my lethal beak and seeing what it is?..." --Badger
 "Dark. Cold. Wet. Alone. The penguins are happy, because they do not know. Is it better to breathe the dank air of misery, or drown in the peace of ignorance." another performance art project that you can't believe you're sitting through...except that you're dating an art student --Michael "I've been there" 808
 Eat and grow large! Soon you shall be plump enough for the feast. Oh, and thanks for the fish. --Mr. ?
 Damn Tomb Raider. These puzzles just keep getting harder and harder. --Spun Clyde
 Raw fish, flatulent seals, and penguins with the runs....another person with a better job than me. --Slibs
 Bill Gates uses his orbital heat beam to disrupt Red Hat...On Ice! --Under An Assumed Name
 Abandoned in the local zoo at birth, young Lady Wintersomething was taken in by kindly penguins and raised in the ways of the flightless bird, and become 'Pen-Zan, Queen of the Arctic Snow!' --MelSkunk
 "Look, don't ask me. All I know is, Doc Evil's requests are getting weirder and weirder..." --Nyder
 The 6.5th Circle of Hell, where oil company executives are forced to act as beauticians to waterfowl. --Nyder
 "Hey, you... Pull my flipper!" --

Vitriol (shameless)
 "we've replaced these aquatic waterfowl's regular fish with new Folger's instant mackerel... Let's see how they react." --

 "Look, what is this shit? I asked for a brunette, dressed in an Original Series uniform." "Geez, sorry, Frank, that's the last time I'll use that strippergram company." --Nyder
 Gallant feeds yummy tidbits to the penguins. Goofus shines the BatSignal on them. --Doctor X
 This picture just screams for some methamphetamines, a few pimp hats, a speedboat, a big flaming metal hoop and a boombox playing "Ride of the Valkyries" at full tilt. --rudy
 When Mary was told she had tickets to "Opus 1, 2, and 3 in Sea Minor," this wasn't what she had in mind. --Robbbbb
 Those aliens sure have alot to learn about breeding us earthlings, don't they? --Anastasia
 Hey baby, buy you a chumsicle? --Anastasia
 "When a female is sighted, the male penguins will surround her, blocking her path, making lewd comments, and generally being obnoxious." -- from Penguins: Nature's Little Bastards --Pete
 She had to work fast. Sooner or later, someone was going to realize that the penguins were dead and they'd put chickens wearing tuxedos in their place... --Pete
 Cigarettes? Cracker Jacks? Carp Entrails? --Crack Baby
 As Vinnie kept an eye out for orcas, Bobby and Shortie made the drug deal with the human. --Ravagin
 "...and Terri dives into the bungwalla and grabs the joey by the hinds while I busy myself on the banks with a bit of bush tucker. This is good training for her because next week we go up against Pygoscelis adeliae--the mighty 6-lb Adelie of Lookout Point." The Penguin Hunter with Steve Irwin --Stan Xhiao
 Give a penguin a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to peck Fiona in just the right spot and he'll never go hungry. --Stan Xhiao
 At Antarctica House, we provide a nurturing, monitored environment where penguins can gradually recover from addiction --Aaron the Greater
 The Purple Pearl was glowing there, just barely out of reach past its Dread Penguin Guardians... --Genguin Pardian
 "Two dolla, anyteeeng you want..." --XRayMind
 Every morning, the vet carefully prepared food for each of the eighteen penguins, mixing nutrients and medications tailored for each bird's specific needs. And all that trouble would have been worth it, if Debbie were able to tell one damned penguin from another. --Rotter
 Quickly learning that life after the Olympics ain't so grand, retired athlete Anna Petrova is forced to coach the Rwandan synchronized swimming team in order to make ends meet. --Goom
 "What is it girl? Timmy's trapped under an igloo? Okay, let's go get him." --DG Leadbetter
 In return for extra rations, penguin no. 55068 would often pluck the marine biologist's unsightly facial hairs. --A Grouch
 I had no shoes and I was sad. Then I met a woman who had to feed penguins rotting fish all day and I was furious stepping barefoot into penguin crap. --Slibs

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