IADL #517
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 "After" picture from PhotoShop Tricks and Tips chapter 7, "Creative Crotch Concealment." --Hideo Spanner
 "You must have been a beautiful larva..." --crispy
 "Who ordered the large sprite?" --agtorange
 Lester's ability to summon Shiva was always a big hit at parties. --Samwise(mmm...FF8...)
 The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Industrial Park. --Nyder
 1) Never piss off a poet. 2) Never take on King Syndicate lawyers. 3) Never open a jumpgate in the middle of La Cage Aux Folles. --From: Everything I Need To Know I Learned From SpinnWebe. --Nyder
 Although he couldn't understand it, Carl was nevertheless supportive of his son's new lifestyle. --The Golden Retriever
 "I *met* the HAIR GROWTH ANGEL!!! I *saw* her LAUGHING ASSHOLE ASSISTANT!!! Three weeks later, I was HELPED!!! Thank you, Hair Growth Angel! For more info, send $5 in cash to Box 338." --HasNoName
 "No, really, today is born unto you a Saviour, 'tis Christ the Lord! Why won't you believe me?!" --Stealth
 Sorry, Cinderella, I thought you said, "take me to the BALD!" --NME--
 Bob screamed in agony as Clyde's summoned hair spirit brutally ripped his luxurious mane from his scalp. The "transplant" had begun. --Parsley
 "Have you heard the good news of our Lord and Savior, Titania?" --Ravagin
 Mother's words rose in her mind, as they often did: "They're not laughing AT you, honey. They're laughing at your stupid fucking outfit. Now, go buy Mommy a pack of Kools." --tieboy
 Herb breathed a sigh of relief. He had come THAT close to wearing the exact same outfit. --tieboy
 Chuck only did one thing. Ruining people's photographs with his big bald fucking head. But he did it well. --tieboy
 Imagine. Elizabeth finally got up the nerve to wear her homemade Angel outfit in public. She was laughed at and mocked mercilessly. But Brother Tom was on a tour of Germany. There was no way he could make it home. No problem. You've recorded the entire event on "Your Family on The Web." --tieboy
 Seconds later, Darryl was sitting in a redneck bar in Alabama wearing a "Fuck The Klan" T-shirt. After that, no one made fun of the bar fairy. --Leth (nope, I'm not sure either)
 The last of those who were faithful to Spinn are carried to salvation. The Red Asterisk, unleashed from its bonds, engulfs the unbelievers. --Magus
 "Hey! I died for your sins! Quit laughing!" --Magus
 Donna Karan's new spring line of robes and hoods were unveiled today at KlanFest 2000. --Al Fresco
 "Holy cow, Billy....what did you feed that caterpillar?" --Skizzy the Wonder Lizard
 Everyone loves the Nitrous Oxide Fairy! --Mr. Me
 "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good..." "TAKE IT OFF! WOOHOO! TAKE IT OFF!" --R. Jak
 But all the women are thinking "Finally, a wedding where the bride looks goofier than the bridesmaids!" --Rotter
 Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Mime, and you mime alone. --Trenchcoat
 Wanting to spice up the party was good. Opening the Ark of the Covenant was bad. --for(;;);
 "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" "I'm not a witch at all, honey. I'm a queen." --Trenchcoat
 Somewhere, a mother shakes her head, shrugs, and sighs. "Well. At least he makes a living." --Trenchcoat
 "With all due respect, Mr. Christ, in light of this new development, I think I'll just go with eternal damnation." --Magus
 You're Azrael? The angel of death? Heh heh, yeah right, you're just a big -- ERKKK!!! *Thud* --Platypus
 Ronald's life was changed forever when the Angel on his right shoulder finally popped the Devil on his left shoulder. --Darren
 No, I don't have any angel dust. No pixie sticks, either. And if one more person asks about a fairy wand, they're going to find out the hard way why we put stars on those things, capiche? --Weasel
 I am the ghost of Gay Pride Day's Future... not that I'm outing you, or anything like that... but we need to talk. --Weasel
 I swear to god I cannot understand these Russian Folktales. --Slibs
 ...and then I sat on Pinnochio's face and said, "Tell the truth...tell a lie...tell the truth...tell a lie..."-the Fairy Godmother's night at the Improv --Les Miserables
 Submitted for your approval: Three men with a handful of beads, thinking they are going to get a few cheap thrills and flashes of hooters. But they are in for a horrible surprise. The roadsign up ahead, The Ed Wood Zone. --Leth
 Man, I knew the new X-Men movie was gonna suck! --Dolemite
 Needless to say, the Church doesn't like to talk about Bruce, the patron saint of large bald men who are bi-curious. --Helder
 Skull and Bones could always count on Dubya to find the really good acid. --for(;;);
 God, I hate Australian Rules volleyball. --Weasel
 Boy, these sexual harassment training classes are getting weirder and weirder. --Vitriol
 Show us your ti-... Oh. --Fionn
 "Of course I took the advice of the devil on the one shoulder about wearing gold chains. You should see the ideas that angel had..." -- from Dick Vitale's To Hell With Fashion Sense: One Man's Personal Journey --HasNoName
 Area police couldn't manage to keep straight faces as they tried to re-enact the most bizzarre murder in the city's history. --Magus
 But when Stan heckled the third time, the giant red star above his head began to dilate. That day, I think a little bit of our innocence was lost forever. --for(;;);
 Roy....is that you???? --RMD
 At first everyone was worried that the alien gestating in Fred's stomach would come out a deadly monster with acid for blood. Boy, were they pleasently surprised. --Mr. ?
 And that's the day Bill shed his body cocoon and evolved into a higher form of life. Now he's the most beautiful janitor in the whole building. --Mr. ?
 "They make horror movies that start out like this." "Yeah, but they make porno movies that start this way too!" --Captain Howdy
 Next Week on 'Buffy:The Vampire Slayer.' A summoning ritual unleashes Brucipher, the Flittiest Demon, capable of speaking only in catty put-downs. --Spunky Misunderstood Genius
 Charlie has a deeply moving spiritual experience, as he is nailed in the genitalia by the high priestess. --Smithra
 That's the trouble with modern society. No one takes an archangel seriously anymore. --Anastasia
 Yet another plaintiff in the Red Bull class-action suit. --The Dork Wanderer
 "...and now, the next entry in our masquarade, Don Bruce, fairy godfather of the mob." --Joe Z
 "Oh thank Gawd! We thought you was sleepin' with that Colored Feller." --Rodney
 Supermime never could invoke fear into the hearts of supervillians.... --k.a
 The Angel of Death always tried to lighten the mood with a few jokes first before taking the souls of the damned. --anon
 While the rest of the wedding party found it amusing, Reverend Finnegan was distraught that, due to a careless error in ordering the decoration, he wouldn't get to have any cake. --rudy
 George Lucas' original proposal for the Darth Vader costume was deemed slightly lacking in authority. --Darren
 Yo, Glinda. You're behind on your payments. The head of the Lollipop Guild sent us around to have a little... chat... with you. --Weasel
 "Does this make me look fat?" --Skizzy the Wonder Lizard
 "I don't think you guys really get the bachelor party concept." Mark was beginning to regret having only gay friends. --Aaron the Greater
 At the stroke of midnight, Marlon Brando's anus is paraded down Bourbon Street, ending this year's Mardi Gras revelry. --Nate-O (I'm back)
 The costume itched, the makeup was making his face break out... Vinnie Balducci hated being Fire Island's only process server. --Orrin Bloquy
 Once again, the Archangel Gabriel proves that angels can hold their liquor just as well as any mortal. --Magus
 Many people criticize George W Bush for not being honest about how he spent the seventies. --Onid
 "I've got a pair of pliers, I want a mountain of enamel, and you little bastards are gonna give it to me." - The Tooth Fairy Gets Proactive --Doktor Fate
 Waaaaaaait a minute, that's not the Tooth Fairy... it's the ASS Fairy! RUN FOR IT! --Doktor Fate

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