IADL #525
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 You aren't here - Bert visits the Jean Paul Sartre museum. --rudy
 You must be at least this holy to enter the Gates of Heaven. --rudy
 Damn. I didn't know they still made TI-30s. --rudy
 "Wow, even the 'You Are Here' maps say "STATELY Wayne Manor!" !" --Bleech_
 You are here. If you have reason to believe you are not here, please contact our technical assistance hotline at 1-888-555-4262. --rudy
 Magritte, oil on canvas. Ceci n'est pas my beautiful house. --Nyder
 Honey? Look - They serve haggis here! --rudy
 "Castle has less than 50 gold pieces after 11pm." --tieboy
 IN OR ON THIS SPOT IN JULY 1970 / A PHILIPS PRISMONIC 19" COLOR TV / WAS LEFT COMPLETELY UNBROKEN AND INTACT BY DRUMMER KEITH MOON / A GUEST IN A HOTEL WHICH OCCUPIED THIS LOCATION FOR 121 YEARS / BEFORE BEING BURNED DOWN IN APRIL 1974 / BY GUEST KEITH MOON --Rotter
 Wow, according to the map, THIS is the produce section. --Jenn Dolari
 This, gentlemen, is your enemy - the Tourist. Note the camera case on the belt, the ridiculous shirt, the gormless expression on his face as he studies the map. Your weapons are few, but highly effective in the right hands: rudeness, pretending not to understand his attempts at your language, overcharging him shamelessly. By these methods, we must wipe this stain from the face of our beloved country. --Ladislav the Posthumous
 "Welcome to Camp GeoCity Lugnut" --Slibs
 Ed discovers that Amway salesmen must enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the service entrance. --rudy
 The plaque on the French Embassy not only tells visitors to 'Fuck Themselves,' but also provides a diagram. --Spunky Misunderstood Genius
 "Hey....this can't be right....according to this I'm in someplace called "Rabid Attack Dog Land"..." --The EXXXorcist
 "Am I really 'here'?" Three hours later Bill was still contemplating the philosophical possibilities when the security guards forcibly removed him. --Magus
 This card signifies an impending takeover of your small but thriving internet business at the hands of an evil conglomerate. --Entry for "The One of Gates," Guide to the Dysfunctional Tarot. --Nyder
 It the closing phase of the 20th Century, Pearly Gates management replaced St Peter with a plaque and a closed-circuit surveillance system. --Darren
 You must be this dorky to enter NerdLand. --Nyder
 WARNING: This gate may or may not be connected to a 10,000 volt circuit. There's only one way to find out for sure. Go ahead, we dare you. --agm
 Thinking quickly, Handy-Man reached for his pocket level, secured it to his tape measure, and hurled it over the wall. NOTHING was going to stop him from shellacking that patio! --Doctor X
 Amherst's elaborate consent requirements took all the fun out of panty raids. --Pharm. Rep #742
 "Mr. Brando? Pizza man. I'll be backing up the 18-wheeler presently." --Coalcracker
 "You Must Be This Snooty To Enter The Club." --Lots42@aol.com
 King Friday the Fourteenth didn't take any shit from strangers. --Bad Girl
 French: Le Chateau de Louveciennes. This small, 18th century chateau once belonged to Madame du Barry, a famous mistress of Louis XV. English: Go home, stupid American pig. --Helder
 "Hmmm..." thought Tucker. "Why would this NO TRESPASSERS sign have a blinking diagram of the lower intestine?" Ten seconds and one wormhole journey later, he was covered with feces in downtown Albany. --Captain Howdy

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