IADL #532
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 Excuse me, but the groom was wondering if you could play "The Stripper" for the first dance. --Weasel
 "Sir . . . if you could put down the Harry Potter book long enough to finish the set, we'd all be grateful. --Stefan Jones
 Stop hitting a rim shot every time the minister finishes a line, or there'll be no cake for the band after the ceremony's over. --Weasel
 Ice Ice Baby, in A flat --kyosuke
 "And finally, gentlemen, I submit to you this final piece of evidence which clearly shows Mr. Oswald playing with his jazz combo, "The Lucky Shots," on the grassy knoll just moments before the President was shot." --dALY
 You forgot to put the seat on your drumstool again. --kyosuke
 Not only was Jed and the Jedtones' rendition of "My Way" insipid and dull, it was sufficiently off-key to cause Frank Sinatra to smash his coffin lid, dig through six feet of solid earth, and stagger twenty miles just to tell them that if they didn't stop right now he'd send them to sleep with the fishes. --Nyder
 As the San Andreas Fault cut loose in an 8.7 monster, the band played on in the face of the approaching fissure, culminating with Nearer My God to Thee. --Ken
 "Sir, could you put down the drumsticks and move away from the drums? You've not any rhythm." --Saint Go
 "Not now, Alfred, Bruce Wayne be jammin'" --Spunky Misunderstood Genius
 The reception went well, until the jazz combo got fed up with Grandpa's repeated requests for 'Super Freak' and stalked off-stage. --Spunky Misunderstood Genius
 "For the last time, sir, I'll ask you to please get off of my lawn..." --crispy
 "Excuse me sir, but the chamber quartet has asked if I might inquire just what the fuck you think you're doing here." --Norm DePlume
 "You're fired." --Lord Stan
 "I'm sorry, Mr. Ulrich, we refuse to play anything from Reload." --K-Man
 The guys soon regretted laughing at Steve when he warned them they were playing loud enough to wake the dead. --Darren
 "You call that a thirteen stroke roll? Gimme those drumsticks before you hurt somebody." --Helder
 Jesus thought the band was ok...but if they were ever gonna play the big venues...he was gonna need 9 more. --dob37 (honestly..if you didn't see this coming.....) (to Jesse)
 "I'm with the RIAA. Since someone took your photo digitally while you were performing copyrighted music, we'll have to sue you, the photographer, the camera manufacturer, the sponsor of this event and everyone else present that may have heard the snippet of music played when the photo was taken." --Spun Clyde (I have no sense of proportion)
 "Could you play something light and spiffy as they lower the coffin?" --Spun Clyde
 "Hand over your wallet, your watch, and your sheet music, and no one will get hurt." --Helder
 "Are those musical notes written on your forearm? Perhaps a few hours in the muzak room will teach you the consequences of cheating." --Helder
 Things looked bad for the band when Mike's metronome broke. Fortunately, his grandfather had a pacemaker. --Helder
 The teenage girls loved John's guitar playing, and Fred's bass style had the housewives swooning. Bill just had to take what he could get. --Nyder
 "Alright buddy, I just clocked you doing 6/8 time in a 3/4 zone. Let's see your license and registration." --Helder
 PBS attempted to compete with Nick At Nite's marathon of all of the "hippy" episodes of Dragnet by running the longhaired cellist episodes of Live At The Boston Pops. --HasNoName
 "No, you fool! First you jump, then you jive, then you wail! Fuckin' white people, I swear to God..." --Pete
 "1,2-3,4, 1-2-3...4, 1,2,3-4,..." --rudy
 I'm sorry, but the bar tab went way over expenses and we can't afford to pay you. Would you accept some leftover canapes, three table centerpieces, a bottle of Jagermeister, and two turns each with that bridesmaid over there? That one - Helga, the one shaped like a Shop-Vac. I'll even throw in a couple of helium ballons. Whaddya say? --rudy
 "Stay here. I'll be Bach." --snackula
 Wow, Metallica wasn't kidding when they said Napster would ruin them. --slibs
 Troy was obsessed. Who did put the ram in the rama lama ding dong? Troy suspected the butler did it -- and Troy had a trap set. --Norm DePlume
 Next on Behind The Music, The Wychovski Three's skyrocket ride to the top is derailed by drugs and greed. --Nate-O
 "Gentlemen, Madame Johnson sent me to be your 'groupie.' What are your instructions?" --Torc.
 Q, freshly retired from the Service, kept busy by supplying his nephew with exploding drumsticks. --SgtMean
 Marilyn Manson, had Alice Cooper never been born... --The Return of Bill

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