IADL #534
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 Those IADL geeks are out of practice, thought Hal. They'll never notice my colostomy bag. --Riff
 C:\ | C:\DOS | C:\DOS RUN | RUN DOS RUN Ha ha ha (*snort*) ha ha! --Hobgobble (after a *really* long day at work)
 Voted least likely to have anyone read his "Hello, my name is..." tag. --Robbbbb
 'Amber, according to the PimpTron5000's most recent computations, you've been withholding some dough. The bitchslap.exe algorithm recommends that Big Slim gives you a black eye.' --agm
 'Question on the fighting scene again. Am I supposed to swing the chair at your half-brother after you start tonguing him or after the audience starts chanting Jerry's name?' --agm
 "She's certainly a looker, isn't she, Mr. Hand? She sure is, Rolf! Rrrr-OWF! --agt o
 Josephine and the Amazing Technicolor Mumu --slibs
 Alan didn't have the heart to tell Susan she had her Wonderbra on upside down. --DieLifeDie
 "It's so big! Can I...Can I touch it?" --Torc.
 "See honey, it's just like TV. Your ass looks ten pounds bigger." --Torc.
 "Six total, eh? I guess we shouldn't of used Mapquest to give people directions to the convention." --Torc.
 The new Priceline ads really sucked when they replaced William Shatner with the grown up cast of ZOOM. --No Name
 Sure, I can scan 'em in for ya, but they just don't MAKE a monitor big enough to show 'em simultaneously. --rudy
 In an alternate universe, Gilligan is black, Roseanne is the starting pitcher for the Colorado Rockies, and the Internet runs on two Sun workstations and a 10-year-old Macintosh. --Helder
 "Rook! Eez Mozirra!" --Ken
 "Well, I wish that I could ask you out on a date, but I'm looking for a woman that's an inch shorter than you. Better luck next time." --Helder
 "Hey, wanna see me run Linux on a Mac LS?" How computer geek pornos begin. --crispy
 Must be a Mac convention. No windows. --rudy (Thankew, I'll be here all week...)
 Hey Look! A Nerd Herd! --Lloyd
 Unfortunately, this is a representative cross-section of people most likely to pose nude in front of a web cam. --Spunky Misunderstood Genius
 'Good news, Maria. You're too old to be an efficient worker, so Kathie Lee says you can go home now.' --agm
 Oh yeah, that one's DEFINITELY going in the booger collection. --Curmudgeon
 Hey there good lookin! Lucky for you the fire exits are right over my shoulder, cause you are HOT! --(Erwin picked a horrible day to start wearing his new contact prescription.) Vitriol
 The Microsoft Superheroes 1.0 still had a lot of bugs to fix before actually catching a criminal. --Mr. ?
 Bill coyly offers to "install" Edna's "software" on his "massive hard disk", to which Edna responds by "booting" Bill's "5 1/4 inch floppy". -- mutantdog
 Eventually, the resignations at CompuServe became so numerous that they needed to install more exits. --Helder
 Sally knew she'd wandered into a bad area of the convention when one of the programmers threw an Ada gang sign. --Helder
 "Julie, even though you only joined the AOL Support Staff a few weeks ago, we've noticed that you've been kind and courteous to all the users, provided detailed and accurate solutions to all their problems, and greatly reduced the wait time in the queues. So we're going to have to let you go." --Helder
 I loved your rendition of the National Anthem so much, I MP3ed it. Would you sign my monitor? --Jenn Dolari
 "Thank you, Pantone Woman -- you saved our web site!" --Helder
 Five bucks says his tote contains about two dozen exactingly painted cast metal minature figurines of Dwarves, Gnomes, and Orcs (arranged alphabetically by character class and name in a little plastic bait box), four 20-sided dice, three painstakingly constructed tournament-legal Magic the Gathering decks, two bags of Cheetos (crunchy and baked), a three-week old ham sandwich, and a condom. You know, just in case. --rudy
 "Right. I'll be your supervisor, my name's Bob, you get ten minutes off for lunch, thirty seconds for bathroom breaks, and if you haven't gotten at least one in the green by the end of the week, you're out on your ass, understand?" Orientation day at Nyder's Caption Sweatshop. --Nyder (salvaging, and you know who you are)
 A bunch of geeks jabbering about computers and not a fuckable woman in sight. Welcome to my personal fourth plane of Hell. --rudy
 If The Village People Had Understudies. --Heath
 After all those hours of Photoshopping large body parts onto his high school classmates, Phil discovered at the twenty-year reunion that he'd guessed correctly. --Bad Girl
 Four reasons why the WWF will never again hold open auditions at DeVry Institute. --Samurai cat in training
 "Trilian! My God! What the hell happened to you?!?!" The Hitchhiker's 30 year Reunion was, at best, morbidly depressing. --deadcoil (Captain Obscure)
 "Like it? It's Old Spice." --Heath
 At their daily briefing, the creative team behind Ben Schumin discuss how best to describe his next trip to the bathroom. --Nyder
 "No, no, people, it's Goofus who drops a match next to the nitroglycerine charges, and Gallant who fetches the bomb squad. What part of this don't you understand?" --Nyder
 It took four Cray supercomputers, eight desktop publishers, and two-burned out Photoshop disks, but in the end, we were finally able to digitally insert a woman at a Linux conference... --The Return of Bill
 As he concluded his rendition of Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor using only his armpits and alimentary canal, Dwight knew that he had secured his position as alpha nerd. --Nyder
 I swear I saw a Cray this tall, but it got away. --Mr. ? - geek fishing stories
 class Nerd {public: nuisance(); private: jpeg collection;} --heath
 "Guess the secret word and gain root!" --HasNoName
 "Its a one-owner. And she was little ol lady who only used it to check her e-mail on Sunday" --Rev.Dexter Sinister
 "Hi everyone! Guess what's in the bag! Give up? It begins with an 'S', and ends 'ource code to Windows 2000.'" --Darren
 "How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? Give up? He felt his presence..." --Your next president
 Think that computer freedom fighters look like Reeves and Fisburne? Kids, this is why you should take the Red Pill --The Return of Bill (cannabalizing a salvage)
 "...and then I sliiiide my floppy in, just like that." "Bob, would you cut it out? I'm getting nauseous." --Torc.

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