IADL #537
(some picture)  (<<)  (<)  (>)  (>>)
  (?)    '?'

 Never volunteer for a demonstration in health class on Friday the 13th. Never, ever, ever. --Weasel
 The alien probe paused briefly, hovered in front of the stunned classroom, decided there was no intelligent life here after all, and moved on. But later it found a patch of mold in the cafeteria that it took quite a shine to. --DieLifeDie
 Gallant demonstrates the proper technique to please a woman. Goofus decides to go for the whole enchilada and prepares to give her a wet willy she will not soon forget. --Weasel
 With the class hamster having seeled himself into a coccoon attached to the chalkboard, Ms Wilkinson's Biology Class decided it was a good time to discuss the ethics of genetic engineering. --Spunky Misunderstood Genius
 The student teacher tried to cover it up, but the class couldn't help notice the object jutting from the blackboard looked like Mrs. Fingerman's skull... --The EXXXorcist (finding jokes in the details again)
 In the year 2020, all the really white kids have to stay after school to learn remedial Ebonics. --A Grouch
 Marlene froze. "if i don't move they wont be able to see me..." --SlappyJack
 "Thus Eve hid her shame under Gap Kakhis, while Adam relaxed in his Gap Loose-Fitting Rugby shirt, and the Serpent threw away the bag with receipt in it."-Christmas Pageants, in about 2 more years --The Return of Bill
 Ashley stood under the mistle toe for 4 years straight, and still no one would kiss her. --Rhapsody
 As the corpses of the Grinch and the Great Pumpkin dangled overhead, Miss Holihater detailed her next assignment: Eliminate the Cadbury Bunny! --Jinikato
 Hm...the class is being taught by a 13 year-old girl, football jocks are sitting in the front of the classroom and chalk writes in black! THIS AM BIZARRO WORLD! --BIZARRO DJERKWHAD
 Bathe her and bring her to Senor Wences. --Helder
 "...And then we spent the next three weeks trying to get out of the mandrill gorilla cage. Boy, was Dad ever sorry he wore those blue and yellow Lycra biking shorts." --rudy
 "Like you, I was curious what it means to 'defleg the United States of America' and why I had to 'plegeleegance' to do it every day." --Torc.
 Ms. Hanson's 8th grade performance of Hamlet was slow, overly married to the text, and the shadow puppets really threw me off. Ophelia was hot, though. 1 1/2 stars. Stevie Rickenbocker, age 13 --crispy
 Not only did the Spice Girls remake the song 'Hot for Teacher', they remade the video --doihle
 How they all laughed when he demonstrated his "foolproof" technique to become rich and famous. But ah, 'twas the young Jim Henson who grew up to have the last laugh. --ShackMan
 Try as they might to teach her the date, it always went in one ear and out the other. --Die Fledermaus
 As long as Spinnwebe continues to ignore the standard HTML command, I will never be able to fully express my artistic intentions vis-a-vis a caption for this image. Fascists. --Torc.
 "I don't know their names, but they followed me home from the park last night. If no-one claims them before Tuesday, my mom says I can keep them." --Darren
 "I've got $125, $125, $125 ... c'mon folks, this girl is a cheerleader and a member of the honor society ... thank you, $200 from the flunking football player in the front row ..." --Helder (self-salvaging)
 Miss Sally Adams, sex ed teacher for the George W. Bush Junior High in suburban Dallas, demonstrates proper sexual techniques to another generation of future Frigid Housewives of America. --zachlee
 "Beckie, is your group ready to give the presentation?" "Fuckin' A...what hell was in that pot we just smoked....Everything's getting fuzzy and the guys are getting pretty strange....This is the last time I smoke up before giving a presentation.....what the hell was the topic....STDs? Fire Safety ?.." "Beckie, are you sure that your group wants give their presentation on Drug Abuse today? You guys look a little pale, maybe you should see the school nurse..." "No ma'am we're fine, just a little jittery.... shit " --k.a (trying to self salvage)
 I think.. I think those two football players are playing chess, but that can't be right. It must be Hungry Hungry Hippos. --Mr. ?
 *BUUUUUURRRRPP!!* And this has been my project on the digestive system. Thank you. --Mr. ?
 "Behold, mere mortals, the omnipotence and majesty of your goddess! Defy me at your peril." Miss Mason's methods were unusual, but she was the best substitute teacher in the district. --Helder
 "So you see, Janie, through a clever optical illusion, I appear to be squishing Mary Sue's head." --Tay-Bird
 "Thank You... Next!" The Resusci-Annie Tryouts break another heart. --Spunky Misunderstood Genius
 Sadly, not every child at Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters has the potential to be an X-Man. For example, Warmflow's only real power lay in levitating stool samples, AlphaBoy could form any letter in the alphabet backwards in 0.02 seconds flat, the Thinker could subtract over 600 negative numbers a second, and the Sasquatch Twins, though only eight, were able to grow hair instantly on any part of their bodies. --The Living End
 Much to Roberto's embarassment, while trying to do return an arrimada, his Jai-Alai cesta suddenly came flying off. --gotoheck99
 "OK, everyone, that wasn't bad. Now, let's try it standing up this time, shall we?" Of all the shit classes she had to teach, Miss Rothman reserved a special hatred for Remedial Macarena. --Nyder (channelling Triangle Man)

Back to the IADL Archive index
Back to It's A Dysfunctional Life