IADL #538
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 I shall request the help of Obi Won Kenobi, but in the form of interperative dance! - Star Wars, the musical --Mr. ?
 o/~ When you're a ho, you're a ho all the way from your first little trick to your last dying day o/~ --Mr. ?
 Unfortunately, Kate's room wasn't properly insulated or sealed for interstellar travel. --FireVampire
 This has 'Direct to video' written all over it. --The Mattwolf
 It is very dark. You are likely to be roped into a conversation with someone who's bi-polar and off her meds. --Doctor X
 The results of a Twinkie overdose can be horrific. --Darren
 Of course, originally Tarantino intended "Pulp Fiction" to include a scene where Mia and Vincent competed in a cossack dance competition. --Darren
 The camera wasn't kind to Picasso's wife either. --kyosuke
 Mystique gets the ass-kicking of her life when, just before landing a flying kick to Wolverine's windpipe, she suddenly thinks of a girl she saw on last night's "Felicity." --Rotter
 A little known fact, "The Matrix" is actually a remake of a Czechoslovakian film, "Das Indices," orginally shot with a Kodak Funsaver and a Commodore Vic-20. --The Return of Bill
 Yearbook picture of Tina Miller, voted "Most Likely To Be Tranquilized, Tagged, And Returned To The Wild." --Helder
 Sally, world-class mime that she is, gives a flawless performance of "Howler monkey trapped in a box." --Weasel
 "Last night I shot a chimpanzee in my pajamas." "That's funny; how'd a chimp get in your pajamas?" "Easy--roofies in the banana daiquiri." --Weasel
 It took three hours, two SWAT teams, and sixteen pictures of sad puppies to talk Brenda down from her tequila, heroin, and Pez overdose. --Helder
 After a lengthy battle, the Fashion Police were forced to call in a SWATCH team. --Helder
 "Oh, Chen Wong! You are so silly! You must stop worrying that my kung-fu is superior to yours and turn that frown upside-down!" -Fists of the Perky Spider Monkey. --Doctor X
 The "YMCA" dance gets quite tricky when translated into Russian. --Skeezix
 Moments later, bob was both a:) sincerly sorry that he had made that suggestion. and b:) A falsetto. --Vitriol
 As she gracefully emerged from the filing cabinet, Andrea was plagued by doubts that she had irreversibly damaged her future as a dramatic actress by accepting the lead role in the syndicated television series "Hong Kong Phooey: The Next Generation." --Captain Death
 The single most effective anti-teen-drinking poster ever. --Robbbbb
 "Security to room 435, stat. Ms. Minelli is flashing back to her Broadway days again. Bring the taser." --MrScary
 Having consumed her boyfriend, Nikki put her jaw back in joint and settled in for a three-day nap. --MrScary
 Would someone PLEASE tell Sally there's no need to "shuffle off to Buffalo" every damn time she gets up from her desk? Goddamn theatre students. --the rev
 As half of the residents collapsed with heart attacks, the staff at the Sunset Retirement Home reflected on the wisdom of hiring a woman to jump out of Bill's 95th birthday cake. --Jacob
 *sniff sniff sniff* Bacon? Bacon! Where? Only one thing smells like bacon and that's bacon!!! --Cryptique
 The next morning you'll fondly remember her mouth, painfully regret her teeth, and look in vain for the volume control on her pants. --rudy
 We couldn't save her, she had plugged her vibrator into 220. Hell, it took the mortician hours to get the smile off of her face. --Bil's left nut
 If They Mated: Spider Man and Britney Spears --Zoltar the Not-so-Great(autobots... transform and roll out)
 "Shave and a haircut - TWOOOOOO BIIIITS" - Cheryl had blown her Hamlet Audition --David Evnull
 Jane was a beautiful young girl with her whole life ahead of her. That was before she got into dorm chair surfing. Now she can look forward to spending the rest of her life in a wheelchair. Don't let this happen to you. --dALY
 If you thought the live-action Grinch was bad....wait til you see the new HamsterDance movie. --Skizzy the Wonder Lizard
 Norman Rockwell's little known Debbie Tracks Down Her Barber. --Torc.
 We've replaced Sara's regular douche with new Folger's Crystals. Let's see what happens. --Doihle
 Krusty the Klown, after the operation. --Bradd W. Szonye
 o/\ Ev'ybody was kung-fu fight-in'! That bleach was ex-tra-whitenin'! And her mouth was a little in-vi-tin. But her pants were too damn fringhtnin'! o/\ --Doctor X (Ha! Let's get it on!)
 Unfortunately, just as Jeannie replaced all the throw pillows with bookcases and furniture, Major Nelson knocked the bottle off the shelf --Weasel
 Final scene of the cult classic Buffy Meets Godzilla. --Nyder
 The Lost Boys always loved to play catch with Tinkerbell. --Weasel
 "Spinnwbe, Spinnwebe/ It's a hell of a site/the 9 ball's mystic/ and that's alright/..." Alicia Silverstone as Raven in "Spinnwebe, the Musical" --Reynard the Cranky (aka Mokohki/Mia)
 In high school, the Joker got beat up alot. --Bad Girl
 Sarah didn't mind the vacuoles on her new pants but she found the rough ectoplasmic reticulum to be most uncomfortable. --ChAoS
 Ceci n'est pas his real size. Magritte's wife, oil on canvas. --Nyder
 I'll have what she's having. --Splunge
 Never, EVER attempt to produce a "Martial Arts" version of RENT. It just DOESN'T work, alright? --Hooper_X
 In a tragic typographic accident, Stacey discovers that she has had her uvula pierced instead. --Nyder (think about it...)
 After the Mormon Revolution of 2022, this is what will pass for internet porn. --Spunky Misunderstood Genius
 "Christina Aguilera awoke one morning to discover that, overnight, she had somehow become Dom DeLouise... but only from the waist down" -- From a very early draft of Metamorphosis --Hunty
 The US Customs Agency Handbook, Chapter 12: Tips that the cocaine-filled condom has broken. --Torc.
 New Product for Winter 2000- Disco RealDoll. --LimePi
 The scene from "The Exorcist" that you never saw: Linda Blair wows 'em with a demonic rendition of "Thriller." --Corbin H. Crable
 Scary Thought of the Day: A new generation of Kennedys is making its way through college. --James Howard

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