IADL #541
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 Linda had vowed that if Brian patted his beer gut one more time and said, "Yeah, when you got a tool this good, you gotta build a shed over it," she would plunge a stiletto into his skull. That time had come. --Spunky Misunderstood Genius
 The bells! The bells! --Nyder
 After erecting several supports, ropes, and pulleys, Senator Kennedy's staff was finally able to put his pants back on. --Helder
 Ratings for E! Fashion Police went up 35% when the penalty for wearing white after Labor Day was changed to keel-hauling. --SeanQ (still lurking about)
 Most pirates just hoisted the Jolly Roger before attacking. The Sailing Club of Newport hoists the Hostile Susan. --Weasel
 "I don't want you to get the wrong impression about me, Jim -- I don't normally sail off to the brothels of Bangkok on a first date." --Helder
 "The crow's nest is no place to have sex," Tom ejaculated. --Male Bimbo
 The first day at Spiderman Camp was always the most interesting. --Stinky
 Greg and Julie knew that someday Syncronized Sail-Rigging would be the hottest thing in sports. And when it was, they'd be ready! --Blue Gargantua
 Edgar Rice Burroughs tried a second time to establish a classic franchise. But "Tar-Stan Lord of the Midshipmen," just didn't pan out. --DieLifeDie
 Bad Jobs of the World, #138 - Flossing Wilt Chamberlain's Teeth --deadcoil (Hey, I'd do it)
 If global warming and the melting of the polar icecaps continue at their current pace, by 2050 Des Moines will be a bustling seaport. -- Al Gore, Somebody'd Better Read this to George --Ken
 Eddie's pain in his lip was instantly forgotten when he realized that his _other_ piercing had gotten caught in the rigging as well. --qben
 First the tug-of-war incident and now this. Tom would soon make internet history as the only man to have two .mpg files featuring his arm being ripped out of its socket. --Doihle
 Lynchin' - Wall Street Style! --Republicanus Going To Hell For That One
 "Avast, me hearties! There, to starboard, 'tis a new graphics platform! Hoist the Jolly Linus and the first one to rewrite its code gets an extra Java ration!" --Nyder (channelling Helder)
 If Old Navy really had a navy. --Mr. ?
 umm... dude... you're supposed to put the shorts on first, THEN the fanny pack... --Weasel
 There needs to be more of these programs where delinquent children are taught how to sail and then abandoned in the middle of the ocean. --Spun Clyde
 Oh shit, it's true: Mormons bought the Spice Channel! --crispy
 Bob could always sense when the ship was nearing San Francisco. --Helder
 "Thanks. Actually, I've been pitching sails since I was thirteen." --Helder
 All hands on Dick! --TBone's House O' Screamin' Weasels!!
 Why do I expect the lyrics to a Christopher Cross song to appear in kanji at the bottom of this picture? --Torc.
 "The Asteroid of Death is coming straight for us!!!!! Raise the protective cocktail umbrella!!!!!!!!" A scene from the movie "If Wile E. Coyote Ran the Earth" --Zach the Conqueror
 Giving a wedgie to a crowsnest lookout requires careful preparation. --Darren
 The KKK circumvents the law by lynching Negroes in international waters. --NME--
 For some reason, the phrase "rigging the spinnaker" always made Dan, well, excited. --the rev

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