IADL #544
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 Today's episode of Sesame Street was brought to you by the letter P. --Orrin Bloquy (I must be, what, the 859th person to submit this, right?)
 Oh Christ, it's his evil cousin Dookie Monster. --Orrin Bloquy
 "Remind me why they put the only zipper on the wrist of this costume." --Darren
 "Four urinals containing used condoms, plus three containing dried-on vomit stains, makes..." --Darren
 The Cookie Monster-Grover ticket of 2008 was remarkably successful, but the Secret Service soon grew to hate their jobs with a white-hot passion. --Weasel
 Dry! (flush) Wet! (flush) Dry! (flush) Wet! --Weasel
 One stomach pump later, the Cookie Monster figures out it wasn't mint after all. --Torc.
 Dammit. I told my browser to disable cookies. --rudy
 "Psst! Hey! You can tickle me for a quarter... how 'bout it?" --Nyder
 Nobody knows how the animators managed to sneak the "Mr. Urinal Song" into the Sesame Street lineup, but the end result was millions of dollars in lawsuits, massive increases in psychiatrists' fees, and the creation of an entirely new subgenre of childhood mental disorder. --Nyder
 "Ever since I put in my two weeks', I've just been going in the suit." --crispy
 Today's episode of Sesame Street is brought to you by the Number One. --Hobgobble
 "That miserable Big Bird fucks up his lines one more time I'll grab the lid off of Oscar's trash can & clock him dead in the beak. Christ that's one stupid fowl. Ahhhhhhhboy, that's better. jigglejiggle Goddamned flush valve's stuck again. Sonofabitch. Hey Elmo, give this fucker a kick when you're done, would ya? I'm gonna go grab a smoke with Bert." --rudy
 "It's not easy peeing green..." --Weasel
 There are problems with keeping one's computer on the main floor of the house. My son has now proceeded to repeatedly take his "Tickle Me Elmo" doll into the bathroom and stand his ass on the rim of the bowl. He then starts yelling "COOKIE!! COOKIE!!" and tosses a Nilla wafer into the bowl. Ever see a Nilla wafer expand? Three of those would clog the NY City water supply for a week. Are YOU going to take plunger duty, hmm? I didn't fucking THINK so. Tickle My Ass. --rudy
 Casual Friday taken a few steps too far ... --Riff
 "It burns when Cookie make tinkle!" -- Sex Ed. films continually strive for a younger audience. --Riff
 "You know, this would be a lot better if we actually had penises." --Princess Crucifix
 Tinkle Me Elmo. --agm
 God, this place is rank. I'm never following Snuffelupagus into a bathroom again. --phil
 Mom always said it'd make hair grow on my palms but...My God! --Noddin0ff
 "Look, don't ask me. All I know is that Doc Evil's requests just keep getting weirder and weirder..." --Nyder (quoting myself from way back)
 "Well, Me broker E.F. Hutton, and E.F. Hutton say..." --Doctor X
 "Yeah, Kermit! That's what you get when you disrespect Papa Elmo!" --Lord Stan
 The West Wing--the George W. Bush years. --Nyder
 Elmo shows off his private bathroom, just one stipulation of his new 10 year, 225 million dollar contract. --tieboy
 No, this isn't right either...say, what gender are we, anyway? --phil
 "Hey Cookie Monster, watch this! Near.... Far! Near... Far! Near... Far!" --Nyder (channelling Vitriol)
 Here's a little photo I like to call Voting in Florida. --Torc.
 "Ha....Cookie Monster leave big blue pube in urinal!" --the rev
 "Hey, Elmo, you got nice sculptured butt there. Me, I no work out and get flabby. Mistake me for Grimace! Make Cookie Monster go on Prozac. Me need liposuction!!!" --A Grouch
 "Did you get a load of the new piece of fur in accounting?" --Helder
 Ok...if Cookie Monster and Elmo are really 7 feet tall, just how freakin' big were Gordon, Susan and Bob? --anon
 Notice the suprised look on Elmo's face. Cookie must be packin' some kinda hardware there! --BlackElmoEvil
 "Elmo, I think it's about time that you learned about the turds and the pees." --Helder (slightly grossed out)
 "Cookie Monster Hate Las Vegas! Slot machines never pay off!" --anon
 I think the actor playing Elmo just realized she's in the wrong bathroom... --Weasel
 You know, 8-10 hours a day, singing the same crap, counting to ten---TO TEN! What are these kids, friggin 'tards?--- anyway, they have a promotion freeze, and I for one am fed up. Waitaminit....we're BIGGER than these assholes? --MrScary
 After five hundred pictures, it stands to reason we'd finally get "Jim Henson's Muppet Grownups." --Orrin Bloquy
 Fearing budget cuts by the Republican congress, PBS branches out into reality TV. --Tullia
 Flush twice. It's a long way to the Barney and Friends Show. --Weasel
 "Hurry, Cookie, flush it! The suits are comin'!" --PM
 "You're lucky. When you've got a nose that's the size of a grapefruit, this is as close as you can stand to one of those things." --Helder
 "Goodbye, Papa Smurf. Tonight you sleep with the Fraggles." --Helder
 "Try asking your precious Dorothy inane questions now, you squeaky little bastard! Me was here YEARS before your furry red ass hit the Street! Do you KNOW how many times me pitch 'Cookie's Crazy Capers' to those CTW fuckers?!" --Cookie Monster finally snaps when he hears about the newest SS segment "Elmo's World". --Skizzy the Wonder Lizard (have you seen the madness?)
 How Management sees you. --Magus

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