IADL #554
(some picture)  (<<)  (<)  (>)  (>>)
  (?)    '?'

 " 'You didn't make enough bratwurst, Earl'... 'No one likes your burgers; got any more bratwurst, Earl?'... I gotcher bratwurst *right here*. Bitch." --Samwise
 Not to be outdone by Bob and his natural casing homemade weiners, Rick grills his entire lower intestine. --Samwise
 "Look, don't ask me. All I know is, Lord Vader's requests are getting weirder and weirder..." --Nyder
 Meat. It's whats for dinner. And lunch. And breakfast. And late-night snacks. And between-meal pick me ups. And flossing. And... --rudy (self-purloining)
 OK, this guy is a fucking barbecue god. He's got, what, ten pounds of pork sausages on there? AND about a dozen chicken's worth of parts, skin-side-down? AND the lid's open? And NO GODDAMNED FLAREUPS?!?! I have that same fucking big-ass Weber in my backyard, and the last time I tried open grilling they were rerouting low-flying aircraft to avoid the damned fireball. He - HE - is a god. --rudy
 Rabbi Bob's Bris-B-Que was always the highlight of the Texas Passover season. --Squid
 WARNING: Do not look into the FusiTech plasma grill without protective glasses: blindness may result. --kensu
 "So Soylent Green is people," thought Leroy. "It's still the best meat on the market." --Neal
 "Okay, kids, the hot dogs are done! Split your buns so I can slide the meat in!"--Things to say if you want to get fired from your job as a summer camp counselor. --Weasel
 "Mmm, indeedy," thought Francis as he test-squeezed a 'brat, "I like my bratwurst like I like my men--firm, hot, juicy, and encased in hog anus." --Hemlock Martini
 "Looks like the hot dogs are AAAAAGH! almost AAAAAHH! done, kids OOOHHH GOD! Go and tell your AAAAH JEEZUS! mom to YAAAAH! bring out the buns and AAAAAAAAAAH MY FINGERS! ketchup, okay? SWEET JESUS AAAAAAGH!" We never did tell dad where we hid his barbecue tongs. It was more fun that way. --Hemlock Martini
 Here we see the Giant Suburban Carnivorous Oyster (oysterus blackendeckerus) about to lure another unwitting house-ape to its demise. --Phat Cheops
 The grill was growing and the meat was multiplying... Bob had a feeling that this was trouble... --Zach the Conqueror
 Seething, Ed quietly prepared to give a flaming Kingsford enema to the next smartass vegetarian who called his bratwurst "a pig ground up and stuffed back into its own bowels." --Samurai Cat in Training
 He's cooking that much meat and doesn't have a beer in his hands...pussy. --Doihle
 Dear Heloise, If you're stuck with one of those too-large bowling balls, here's what you can do: slice it most of the way down the middle ... --Ken
 Always on the cutting edge, Jack tunes up his meat-o-phone. --Weasel
 Ian didn't quite get the right idea when the British government told him all his cattle and pigs had to be incinerated... --Tillman
 The day the meat truck crashed into Bob's big oak tree... now that was a party!! --crispy
 The biggest grill I could find, and it still can't hold the whole package. Damn you, Sam's Club! --megafrim
 "Hey, baby, want six inches of hot steaming meat?" --from 101 Ways To Get Your Head Rammed Repeatedly Into A Barbeque Grill. --Nyder
 Again?! Oh, all right, but daddy has guests, you have to promise to go to sleep this time, okay? 'This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home...' --Ted the Fed
 "Blind piano player April Fool's jokes" has been brought to you by Penn and Teller. --Luther Yonderboy
 "And this is how the Mayans wrote the number 1760829." -- Irving LaPointe, Nerd Chef --Heath (the nerd who actually worked out the base-60 expansion)
 In Cthulhu's name do I consecrate this sacrifice. In Cthulhu's name do I consecrate this sacrifice. Hmm, not done yet (flip). In Cthulhu's name do I consecrate this sacrifice... --Weasel
 Australia's wangwang beast has been called "nature's mistake", but boy does it make some good eatin'! --megafrim
 I hear they use all parts of the bowling ball. --Skizzy the Wonder Lizard
 Miles away, a tribe of Indians is confused by the signals: send.... more..... buns..... --Weasel
 Soon my bratwurst soldiers, we will rise up, rise up and crush the population of this country with a iron fist! --Paxus
 "...so you see, the word comes from the German braten, meaning to roast, and die Wurst, meaning sausage. Note the irony of the word Wurst being grammatically feminine, while the actual object is so phallic (ignoring for the moment such caseless sausages as Braunschweiger, or liverwurst, and blood sausage). The differences between bratwurst, kielbasa and Polish sausage may seem arcane, but in fact reflect distinct ethnic and even geo-political histories of the variations on the theme..." Awright, who fucking invited Schumin? --crispy
 "Alright, who wanted their herd well-done?" --Helder
 During the ward picnic, Dr. Bransen had to resist the urge to ask the grill to cough. --Kensu
 "Hurry up with those sausages, Andronicus, the Queen is hungry!" --Phat Cheops
 God Bless you, Dr. Atkins! --megafrim
 "And let us thank Randy Johnson's pitching ability, without which we would not have this fine meal before us." --Torc.
 George Foreman wept. --Weasel
 Everyone else buys an eight-pack of weenies and a ten-pack of buns and throws away the extras. But an engineer would rather grill enough to make it all even out, even if each of his kids has to eat nine of 'em. --Rotter
 Behind the scenes at the college of cardinals --megafrim
 You know, I keep TRYING to come up with a caption for this one, but I'm just getting this feeling like a billion vegans bitching out as one, and then their heads exploding, and being suddenly silenced, and... and... aw, hell, I LOVE YOU GUYS! --Doctor X (Meat might be murder, but bitching at me about it is suicide.)
 ...and, Mr. Patinkin, if you never want to see this picture in your synagogue bulletin, you'll leave the suitcase of unmarked twenties in the bus station locker. --Orrin "Visit this link, dammit" Bloquy
 Vegetarians in hell. --Helder
 Eventually, Jim was forced to stop grilling when the neighbors started complaining of second-hand cholesterol. --Helder
 "Wellllll.... all right. Maybe just one little bite..." Evil Pac-Man was persuasive in his temptations. --Phat Cheops
 So that's why UFOs keep mutilating cattle! --Helder

Back to the IADL Archive index
Back to It's A Dysfunctional Life