Because I was out of kleenex, and movies set in Hawaii always make me cry. --Weasel
"Great Scott! Do you get the feeling we're being watched?" --Weasel
Come into the light, Shauna! And bring the toilet paper; we're running low. --Weasel
How embarrassing. I am slowly deflating. --Thank you, Jesus
Brian and Karen spend the rest of their honeymoon trapped, forced to watch "Captain Eo" repeatedly until the park closed. --Thriller
"I...I don't get it. It's just this red sign that says 'exit' for two hours. Where are the actors? Where's the plot? Fucking student film festivals." --Torc.
Somewhere in the darkness, Sara hears a Raisinet fall. --Torc.
"Jerry's Kids" watch the blooper reel from last year's telethon... --Tillman
But who am I that the Angel of the Lord should come to me? --flodnak (heading directly to Hell now)
Suddenly, Martha gets the hint. --Stinky
When a local movie theater was built over the ruins of a Victorian health sanitorium, the vengeful victims of mercury enemas haunted the seats with the odour of wet petticoats and smelling salts. --A Grouch
Aspiring teenage pranksters dilligently study a Halloween-vandalism training film. --Repo Man
Hey, wait a minute, this isn't Fruit By The Foot! --Woody
While the rest of the audience was busy watching the movie, Dana practiced her Blofeld impression. --Al Fresco
We ask that during the performance, you please refreain from flash photography, smoking, and going nova. --megafrim
"Dang, my turn to clean out the airlock again? Oh, well. Good thing I'm already wearing the suit." --Sarco Fuggus
From right to left, there are 3 kinds of leis. Yellow, green, and the kind you probably enjoyed but can't admit it to your buddies. --MrScary (desperately seeking salvage)
You know how they get kids to take care of an egg for a week, to teach them about parenthood? I'm thinking this is the version for the "special" kids. --Nyder
Young Anakin got the feeling that his taste for tater-tots was becoming a problem. --Nyder
The deer nodded to himself, then switched the flashlight back off. It works on them too, he thought. It works on them, too. --tieboy
"My... God... it just... hit me... let's go out... to the lobby... and have ourselves... a snack..." --tieboy
"Ma'am, can you please take your crying baby outside the theater? Any by 'crying baby', I mean 'huge flabby ass'." --tieboy
The great beast was stunned at sight of the ship. How had that accursed Ahab tracked her here? --megafrim
I don't like the way she's staring at my Junior Mints. I think we'd better sit somewhere else. --Weasel
At twelve, Sandra started stuffing her bra. At fourteen, she started stuffing her shoulders and hips. By thirty-five, she was completely out of control. --Helder
Slowly Andrea made out the face. It was Mr. Whipple, and man was he pissed. --Torc.
4. And her raiment became shining, exceeding white as snow; and her fellow audience members were sore afraid, and averted their eyes. 5.Then she opened her mouth and they heard, like a noise of thunder, a great belch that shook the pillars of the theater. 6. And the people whispered among themselves, "What powerful being is this, which can interrupt our viewing pleasure so?" 7. And she answered them, saying, "For as little as 79 cents a day, you can save a child!" - Strothers 9:4-6 --Norm DePlume
Mystery Science Theatre 4000 never even made it past the pilot. --Nyder
Shut up and be grateful. She could have come dressed as Frank N. Furter. --Nyder
And then all at once a whole Puffs Family Pack's worth of fibre kicked in. --Torc.
*sniff* *sniff* "Sausage! About...two panels from here..." --Torc.
Extra Fluffy Toilette(TM) brand. Five layers of downy comfort *and* a creamy nougat center. --MrScary
"Puff Assasauras--Status--The Puff Assasauras is an air/pork type creature. It is renowned for its deadly TP Punch. Over time, it will evolve into a Major Assasauras and an Immovable Assasauras. Type--Air/Pork. Height--2.2 meters. Weight--100 Kilo. Evolution--Puff Assasauras/Major Assasauras/Immovable Assasauras." --dALY
Years later, he finally ran into her in a small theater in the Bronx. Yes, a woman he could finally call, "Mrs. Sta-Puft". --Sir Not Appearing In This Film
Miss, these seats are reserved for the "eHula made eZy" group from Redman. The "iFantasize Cleanroom eXperience" is in auditorium 3. You're going to have to leave. --Noddin0ff
Not only do the Blemunges mean to win Wimbeldon, they're trying to rig the Blockbuster People's Choice Awards! --slibs
"Damn, how long have I had this stuck to my shoe?" --Torc.
Orrin Bloquy's second cousin, Biggan. --rudy
Jen started bringing her own toilet paper to movie theatres after she heard that movie theatre toilet paper has twice as many calories. --Helder