IADL #59
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 Coming up next on " Murky Image Theatre "... --Doc Evil
 Wow, you must be Jack the Gripper! Can I have your autograph? --UnDees
 "Yes, yes, I could use an accountant," Lee said. The man's face kept the same frightening plastic smile-he suspected nothing. Lee reached slowly under the bar for his sawed-off shotgun... --Thomas Wilde
 Alright already! But I'm only playing Torn Between Two Lovers once more, no matter how much you tip me! --Keef
 ...So * THAT'S * how they cram all that graham! --Doc Evil
 Jack thought he could call Central Command, but the sight of von Resnyck, remote in hand, thumb on the "mute" button, told him differently... --Emil Blovin
 Clem instinctively covered his crotch when it was apparent that Josh was about to shoot him in the nuts with his Tazer again --BrickBat
 The Masturbation Police crack down hard on-campus by handing out stiff fines --BrickBat
 Son, if you don't stop calling those 900 numbers I'm going to have to remove your testicles with this paint scraper --BrickBat
 This scene of Hudson being dragged to his death under the fuselage by the alien's sinewy limbs eventually wound up on the cutting room floor. --LivFre
 Burn, baby, burn! I'm a disco inferno! --ThreeSwords Delamitri
 Man, John Mahoney has really let himself go! --ThreeSwords Delamitri
 Here it is. The antidote. Now do you remember where you hid the money? --ChoppingBlock
 Condom? I'm handing you a wet-nap. --ChoppingBlock
 "I've spotted the glutinoids, Captain... phasers on stun..." --The Sandman
 Unhand that innocent telephone!! If you don't comply, I'll use this nearly depleted roll of toilet paper to... Shit, what am I going to do with this? --Anonywuss
 It was this incident, when a drunken, bloated Hal Jordan couldn't quite get his power ring fully activated to get his teenage boy off the phone, that spurred the Guardians of the Universe to search for a new Green Lantern for Earth. --Anonywuss
 News Item:Startled by a technician taking a light reading, Tom Bodett slips while filming a commercial in the new Moscow Motel 6. --not elsie
 Never again would Ken reach over the Habuki grill to hand his customer a check. --Riff
 With all the customers having been served, Herman takes advantage of the lull for a quick jerkin' of the gerkin. --anon
 "Damn it, Kevin! Did you forget to pay the perspective bill again?" --Adam Cadre
 Frightened by the over-zealous Jehova's Witness, Darnel took an immediate and unintentional dump right next to the nacho bar. --The Sandman
 Gerald handed the check to his friend, blissfully unaware that he was the Predator's next victim. --Der enthauptete Hanswurst
 Batman tries to talk Robin down from climbing the walls without a safety net. --Don Spudleone
 That look on Paul's face was unmistakable. That fear, that horror. Yes, Paul was confronted by the TicketMaster of Death! --Don Spudleone
 Stapling the salespeople to the wall was a great idea to keep down in-store theft. Unfortunately, it left much to be desired in customer assistance. --Don Spudleone

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