IADL #61
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 I'm worried about you, Meg. Why can't you just use a dildo like every other woman? --anon
 "Excuse me...yes, I couldn't help but notice that you're wearing my shirt...were you near 2390 Park Dr. at about, oh say, 3 A.M.?" --Steve Cossey
 If you think that's good, you should see my Nike tattoo! --Greg J
 Gatekeeper? Nope, sorry Keymaster, I'm the Towel Clutcher. --Greg J
 Dagnabbit Thelma-Louise! How many times do I got to tell ya' them thar things is fer moppin' up spills and such....NOT for stoppin' up yer femine flow! --kafka
 "This was taken in a particularly bad week when I was caught shoplifting for the 18th time. I know it sounds silly, but I wasn't able to bring myself to stuff the items up my blouse or down my pants." Sandra A. excerpt from "Confessions of a Modest Thief" --Coyote
 Debbie was in a bind. She didn't know if she qualified for the express lane because her hands were occupied holding the groceries. --Coyote
 Richard makes the mistake of speaking to Denise, breaking her autistic trance. Carnage ensues. --Thomas Wilde
 She clutched the paper towels like a talisman as Bob, the Grocery Demon, came closer. Oh, gods, he was going to talk to her! --Thomas Wilde
 Hey, look gang! It's Neal from " The Young Ones "! --Doc Evil
 So, how much did you pay Adidas to give THEM free advertising, Sharon? --Doc Evil
 This Eckard is freakin' HUGE! --Doc Evil
 Mujibur and Sirajul dress in drag, tonight on Letterman! --The Lawyer
 HellO, HAve yOU sEEn My BrOTHer? HIS namE IS TorGO, anD tHe MASter toLD me TO fiND Him. THe mastER toLD ME to FInd hiM. --His Imperial Majesty
 Then from an overturned pickle jar the Grocery Genie rose up on a dark cloud of smoke: "Excuse me, m'aam. You dropped these items." --ChoppingBlock
 Margie mistakenly believes she is personaly responsible for clean-up in aisle three! --BrickBat
 "Uh, excuse me, but do you know where I can find some of those really baggy pants?" --The Sandman
 "I know I look silly, Clorette, but these are the only pants I can wear and still fit in these giant tampons..." --The Sandman
 Nike tried every trick in the book to get Brenda to sign with them, but eventually they had to settle for Michael Jordan. --Adam Cadre
 Well, it's just nice to know that there are other seven foot hicks like me. --Cheezo
 Yeouch! Them ice cream jars is cold! --Cheezo
 No, I don't use The ThighMaster. Why? --Der enthauptete Hanswurst
 I thought SpinnWebe was cool, man. Turns out he's just a sellout. A SELLOUT!! --Der zornige enthauptete Hanswurst
 It was only after-the-fact that Adidas realized the negative aspects of sponsoring the World PowerBinging Competition. --Emil Blovin
 The Mall of Androgyny was a big success in downstate locales. --Don Spudleone
 Oh sure, like having $5 of merchandise to give to the cashier will not make anyone suspicious of the COLOR TV hidden under your shirt. --Don Spudleone
 This is one free advertisement Adidas could probably have done without. --Don Spudleone
 Howard Stern dons a wig and goes out in search of new lesbians to exploit. --Don Spudleone
 ...And you thought they were doing away with the advertising in IADL. --anon
 It is becoming apparent that SpinnWebe's camera is NOT a camera at all; rather, it is a sophisticated Hermaphrodite Detector. --Pat
 Dad had a LOT of blood in him, Ma ... dont'cha think we need another roll? --not elsie
 Aisles of potato chips, now aisles of sneakers! It's like they're telling us to shoplift! --Riff
 Solange always felt more secure wearing giant scuba pants filled with lunch meats underneath her clothes. --Ngoc van Trimble
 Well, at least they're wearing pants! --Don Spudleone

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