IADL #62
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 Sir, would you care for some peanuts? No? Well, how about a nice, big, thick, juicy steak then?......BaHAAA Haaa! --kafka
 No, you CAN'T have the other half a can of Coke! Whaddya think this is anyway.......Swiss Air?! --kafka
 The strolling stewardess accordian players proved to be a bad idea. --Coyote
 Okay, Spinnweb, rub it in. When I fly, the person next to me stinks of death and weighs a metric ton; when you fly, you're sharing an armrest with a guest star on "Melrose Place." Thanks. Thanks a lot. --Thomas Wilde
 WHY is a ' Hastings ' employee serving me up here? --Doc Evil
 Sir, that's NOT what I meant by " assume an upright locked posistion "! --Doc Evil
 AWRIIIIIIGHT! My stewardess is Tea' Leoni! This trip just can't get any better than this! --Doc Evil
 The Brady's are flyin' to Hawaii again...christ... --Doc Evil
 It's your own damn fault you started that game of " peek-a-boo " with the two year old in front of you sir...I cannot put him in the overhead compartment, sorry. --Doc Evil
 ...your seat can be used as a flotation device. Small comfort since were flying over Wisconsin, admittedly... --Doc Evil
 God! There's even a Starbucks up here! --The Sandman
 No Doctor, I've never had a 'Slipindicktomy'... Heyyy! are you really a Doctor? --BrickBat
 Lookit,... we're not even off the ground yet and this is your sixth bag. I think you better take a bus. --BrickBat
 Touch my ass again and I stow you securely in the overhead compartment. --Riff
 Pardon me sir, but may I ask what you had for dinner and if you have any previous flying experience? --Riff
 I'd just like to say that if this plane crashes in the Himilayas, I'd want to eat you first! --Riff
 Sorry, sir, you had a fly on your head. Sir? Sir? --Riff
 Stewardess? God, no! I'm an air whore; you're flyin' First Class now, Baby! --Riff
 "Stewardess? I'm feeling a chill. Could you reach up and open that sunroof, please?" --The Sandman
 Once Tori Spelling's acting career finally sputtered out, it was either this or working behind the counter at the frozen yogurt shop. --Adam Cadre
 "Warning. You now have 4 minutes to reach minimum safe distance before Madeline bursts through the pressure hull" --LivFre
 I'm afraid you're confused, sir. You wear the seatbelt and your bag fits under the seat. --Bill Fortier
 Airplane safety rule #7: In case of a water landing, the stewardess's implants may be used as a floatation device. --Der enthauptete Hanswurst
 "The Captain has requested that no electronic equipment be used during this flight. I'm afraid I'll have to smother you with this complimentary hot towel." --Emil Blovin
 Come fly the languid skies! --Emil Blovin
 You know that first class always gets first crack at the inflatable stewardesses. --Don Spudleone
 Why do you keep giggling whenever I come out of the cockpit? --Don Spudleone
 Put it back in yer pants, guys. . . .this is a MAN. --Don Spudleone
 I'm sorry, but the captain finished off the whiskey before takeoff. --Don Spudleone
 No matter how many times the train would derail, if Amtrak had stewardesses like these, they'd be making more money. --Don Spudleone
 In Amsterdam, the airlines have a few more items on the menu.... --Don Spudleone
 I'm sorry, sir, but the Captain has turned on the "No Masturbating" light. You'll have to put your penis away. --The Lawyer
 SpinnWebe, already pronounced dead, wakes up unexpectedly before the autopsy was to begin. Although still groggy from his near-death experience, he manages to snap a picture of Helga the post-mortem phlebotomist. --Dr. Jack
 The success of his younger brother always baffled Ru Steve. --Retard
 "Sir, my nose job is not that bad ... but if you insist, here's another barf bag." --Retard
 No sir, the "Mile High Club" is for couples only. . . --Retard
 Mmmm, that cum sure was tas...Hey, that's my wife! @#$%! All you bastards who made fun of her are gonna get it! This shit isn't funny! --Greg J
 Quit staring longingly at the baggage compartment. Your teddy bear is in "timeout" until we land. --UnDees
 The mile-high club?! This is a bus, mister! --Riff
 Recovered from TWA flight 800: Jessica Fine wonders if she left the gas on in the kitchen compartment. --Riff
 "I said put your fuckin' tray table up, pally." --Ngoc van Trimble

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