IADL #65

 Hmm...I wonder if that woman knows she's lactating right through the front of her blouse? --Matt Morin
 Edna could not face another lasagna. --violet
 "The doctor said that to get over my fear of flying, I needed to keep a stiff upper lip, but it's softening! It's softening!" --Emil Blovin
 Marge was wondering if someone would tell the man doused in flames to put himself out -- this was a non-smoking flight! --Don Spudleone
 Hmmm....should I tell her she forgot my peanuts? I NEED my peanuts. A flight just isn't complete without my peanuts! The SALT!! The PROTEIN!!! STEWARDESS!!! --Steve Cossey
 Unable to get the other passengers to cooperate, Lois decides to smell her own finger. --Greg J
 This is really starting to bother me. How DO they cram all that graham? --Greg J
 Nervously, Edna counts the moments before her suitcase bomb delivers her and the rest of the passengers into the hands of Allah. --Thomas Wilde
 Sensing the approach of the stewardess Martha slyly slipped the index finger out of her nostril and into her salivatingmouth. --ChoppingBlock
 At the insistance of the hysterical stewardess all the other passengers assumed a fetal crash position. But not Birdie. She calmly accepted her fate. --ChoppingBlock
 Do I ask for a seventh bag, or do I just swallow alot? --ChoppingBlock
 After 30 hectic hours of delays, overbookings, and phony bomb threats, Kate finally drifts off to sleep, her finger gently decoupling from her nostril and slowly sliding across her lips and down her chin. --not elsie
 In this episode of Murky Image Theatre Maureen ponders slapping her seatmate silly for furtively groping her buttocks. --Ngoc van Trimble
 Fuck. My finger can't reach my nose. Am I in the Family Circus or something? --Cheezo
 Hmmm. Those new Lucky Charms really are brighter! --Cheezo
 A stewardess may smile patiently when mistreated by an unruly passenger, but rest assured she has a silent-but-deadly way of taking revenge as she passes you by with the refreshment cart. --The Sandman
 Roger Daltrey considers his chances with the stewardess. --Riff
 Geez, when was the last time I washed this finger? --Riff
 So this twirp next to me thinks it's funny to get a photo without my permission? Let's see if he finds a nose goblin in his Coke as funny... --Emil Blovin
 Hmmm. Maybe ordering the cheesy-bean burrito in a sealed cabin with recycled air wasn't such a good idea. --Emil Blovin
 Tonight on " Difficult Zone Theatre " Picking your nose at 30,000 feet! --Doc Evil
 Boy, I should go for some pure chewing satisfaction right now... --Doc Evil
 "Okay, so the guy sitting next to you is masturbating and taking your picture....just be cool Louise....act like you don't see him." --kafka
 On the campaign trail, Libby Dole tries to think up a better slogan for her husband other than "Bob Dole: He is NOT too old to be president!" --kafka
 Little did Annie Finkbinder know, but her clandistine booger eating would soon be captured on film and displayed on the Internet where it would be seen by at least 2 million people. --kafka
 I'll be damned. There really is a "No Masturbating" light on this plane! --The Lawyer
 Florence contemplates the intricate subtleties of the in-flight movie, "Tommy Boy." --anon
 "Hello, this is your captain speaking. I'd like to express a warm welcome to the majority of you who are flying to the NRA convention. In your honor, we have filled the remaining 30 seats with heavily armed Muslim extremists who wish to show a display of solidarity towards you. Have a nice flight." --Coyote
 That's a great shot, Kev, but did you take any time away from the stewardess to snap a few shots of your trip? --Riff
 Thomas Wilde: If it makes you feel any better, that last picture was the stewardess. This is what was actually sitting next to me. --SpinnWebe