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Internet Sourceline

The Press Release

The writers were being told that the site would be active February 1. In the week before, we get a mail saying "Okay, send in your articles now!" I reply with, "uh, what articles? I've been asking what sort of thing you want, and nobody's been telling me anything." I'm told, "If you have anything previously written, that is still relevant today, send it in if you want to." This does an excellent job of not answering my question. I reply that I'm going to wait until the second issue to send anything, since I need to get a feel for the tone of the publication. (Read: "I'm beginning to seriously doubt your ability to pay me.")

January 30, the writers get a letter from Rambo, which says...well, it's too long to clog this page up, but you might find the full letter entertaining. What it comes to is that they suddenly decide they've been going in the wrong direction, and they're going to go about the business of redirecting the massive iSourceline machine. By its basic passing acquaintance with the English language, it also tells us who's been writing the text for the public materials.

And then came The Press Release.

If this is more than you want to read now, just read the first and last paragraphs. They'll give you the idea of how this goes.

 

Los Angeles, Calif.--(iWire)--Feb. 1, 2000-- Internet Sourceline, the upcoming news & media venture publication in Los Angeles, announced today their plan for the actual direction their publication will adopt in it's road to success; hopefully.

"Internet Sourceline: The Internet's Sourceline" is the beta name slated for it's on-line magazine of which they announced today. This project is drastically different from the general news commentary publication they originally wished to produce, and at one point was in production. ``We wanted more of a direct focus on news instead of just a publication that presented folks with commentary, we wanted something with a steady update pace, and quality material, and in order to present that we saw the need for change--we had to make changes,'' said Jeff Rambo, Founder & Chief Executive Officer of Internet Sourceline.

Other Internet Sourceline ventures set to rollout later this year include a web site network focused on key area's of interest in today's point of view, as we were told earlier. Internet Sourceline President & Chief Operating Officer Matt H—. also hinted that other ventures would also be revealed throughout the coming quarters.

Internet Sourceline is raising a $30,000 early stage venture capital fund. The fund will pursue a people/market/technology approach to news & media productions of the company, funding publishers and columnist with the energy, vision, experience and desire to build great publications. The fund is said to already be approaching $5,000 in capital commitments.

``When we saw the `signal' out on the Internet, we came to the conclusion as soon as we could to help in the crusade to spread the Internet with quality (news & media; commentary) material. We will fund greatness wherever it lives when possible. The modern day `riddlers' will not get in the way of our efforts to help our publication succeed on the Internet. We are very excited to be embarking on this new direction,'' said mild mannered Natasha Morrow, Chief Financial Officer and General Partner of Internet Sourceline.

Jeff Rambo and Matt H—. will manage the initial Internet Sourceline project. Jeff and Matt have over 12 years of combined experience advising, financing and investing in technology, news and media companies. ``The publishing & entrepreneurial opportunities within the Internet and the surrounding upcoming regions are tremendous. We couldn't be more excited about bringing the Internet Sourceline style of media publication to these markets,'' said Brian Kelley, a member of Internet Sourceline's Boards of Directors ``The ability for us to initiate our portfolio within the market and at the same time to add value to our portfolio of publications by leveraging the Internet Sourceline approach is very powerful and should be very appealing to publishers and journalist both within the market, and outside,'' added his fellow Director, [name withheld].

Mr. Kelley was previously head of broadcasting for SportsWorld Media, a former publication published by Jeff Rambo, where he spearheaded a dramatic increase in the publications production financings, raising over $10 thousand for a variety of Internet, broadcasting, new media and information services companies. Mr. Kelley spent 2 years after Jeff Rambo's departure from SportsWorld Media and was a senior equity capital specialist for emerging growth technology and non-technology companies, including his own.

Mr. [guy] is currently Co-Owner of AE Web Technologies, one of the first companies located within the Silicon Alley area specializing in media and the predecessor to GAMEZONE (Sy: GZ). Prior to this Internet Directing experience, Mr. [guy] spent just under 1 year as a senior developer at SportsWorld Media, working closely with some of the very people whom account for the production of Internet Sourceline.

Internet Sourceline, is the regarded as being the leading early stage news & media, and information technology publication & firm. Headquartered in Los Angeles, California, recently incorporating their operations to add the final effect for their upcoming product releases throughout the coming year. A definite date has not been set yet, however the information known regarding the actual release of Internet Sourceline's first publication is that it will follow more of a magazine approach of the on-line syndication nature according to Internet Sourceline. This route drastically contradicts their original idea for an actual news & media publication following the lines of a news service with commentary of the aggressive nature. ''Once everything is in tact, we--I will be the first to announce a date, and time for our opening, I just hope that we are able to live up to the original outlook on things we promised everyone,'' said Jeff Rambo.

[for an explanation of the "name withheld" bits, see page 8]

 

Dear God I wouldn't even know where to start with this. This is a press release, for crying out loud. No "for internal use only" defense, here. You might know I'm already down on bad apostrophes, and I'm looking at "it's" used incorrectly twice in the first two paragraphs. And what could I say about this thing that wouldn't quote the whole press release? "; hopefully." "Internet Sourceline, is the regarded as being". And let's not miss the tagline upgrade from "Internet Sourceline: News with an Attitude" to "Internet Sourceline: The Internet's Sourceline." A bunch of SpinnWebe people got a chuckle out of that.

And those are just English usage problems. What's this about "raising over $10 thousand for a variety of Internet, broadcasting, new media and information services companies"? Sheese, is that Time Warner on the phone? $10K for, uh, how many companies exactly? It's like they got together 37 companies for 270 bucks each. Makes me wonder what the finance situation was before Jeff showed up and dramatically increased it. I kinda picture four guys in rumpled tan suits sitting in a bar, emptying out their pockets and sliding change away from gum wrappers and old keys that don't go to anything, when Jeff comes in with a "You've Been Approved!" letter from Discover.

I'm amused, but I'm also angry. Angry in that way I get over seeing people do stupid things who clearly should know better. I like the spirit of what these guys are trying to do, but I'm infuriated that they can't see how entirely unprofessional their work looks thus far.

I reply to this press release with the following.

Argh, argh, argh!

If you're going to make yourself out to be an organization of writers, /please/ have a writer proof this sort of thing before it goes out!

The response is:

Thank you for your suggestions, they are appreciated. However, we have been "trolling" around reading the actual release that was written by iWire which is the company we use for Press Relations, (whom has no connection nor relation to ISL other than that of a business relationship).

Their document was proofed by thier own inhouse publicist/editors, and we proofed it as well ... no mistakes were found. Please point out exactly what you are referring to, and we can discuss it in more detail, as your original e-mail was very vague.

Also to note, writers write material, editors proof it.

Regards,

General Admin
Internet Sourceline

No mistakes were found. No mistakes were found. I just kinda repeat that quietly to myself a number of times, trying to have my brain encompass what I've just been told. No mistakes were found. And, on top of that, now Jeff's correcting me. In a sense, he's right, which I suppose explains why the writing has been how it's been so far--apparently the $270 they put aside for Internet Sourceline: The Internet's Sourceline didn't include a few bucks for an editor to sort out his alphabet-soupesque dreck.

No mistakes were found, man. "Key area's of interest" in a press release, and no mistakes were found. This is more than I can take, and I post my opinion about this on the iSourceline bulletin board.

Next: Greg's Opinion Sweeps Through iSourceline As The Higher-Ups Take It To Heart; Massive Reform Follows; iSourceline Becomes Multimillion-Dollar Media Franchise

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