MovieMask: Conclusion

I had the kneejerk reaction to MovieMask that I think most intelligent people would: what's the point? In fact, my original plan for this story was to be a lot more incredulous and sarcastic right from the outset, but while writing the first page I realized there's actually a use, here. Technology's caught up to the idea, and I'm no longer shocked at its mere existence. I'd never need it myself, but I know there are people who are a lot more frail and impressionable than me.

<tieboy> pepsi can. pepsi can. why? does it mean something? why. pepsi can. pepsi can. pepsi can.
<Machival> is cherry pepsi less violent or something?
<spinn> hey, maybe this isn't so dumb. when I run out of bad movies to make fun of, I can get moviemask and relive all the movies I like in crappy form


This threatened to make the story dull, but fortunately MovieMask saved me with suck. For a moment I was considering cutting Interactive Play a break, saying it's similar to a director's commentary: you wouldn't watch the movie the first time with the little green blinky outlines, but it's there if you're interested. But it was just a moment and it passed quickly: Interactive Play is Evil. We don't need to give movie studios another way to sell us something. And if somehow it actually became widespread and popular, the backward effect would be to encourage producers to put even more product shots in more movies to further increase their revenue. Hurrah.

<tieboy> I'd like to see Sophie's Choice, but with Kevin Kline replaced with the Police Academy Sound-Effects-Making Guy
<tieboy> "Sophie, you gave up your daughter. But you shouldn't feel BWOOP BWOOOP RRrrrrRRR RRrrrrRRR"
<spinn> or The Piano, but with the main guy replaced with Conen O' Brien
<Machival> I want a movie where all characters are played by Carl "Oldie" Olsen.
<spinn> Silence of the Lambs...but with dwarves!
<tieboy> I'd like the Pillow Book with Donald Sutherland's dick replacing Ewan McGregor's, and all the table lamps replaced by boxes of Stove Top Stuffin'"
<Machival> I want "Scream" to have Howard Stern as the killer.

<DML> I'd like to see what they do with Jade Fox's death scene in Crouching Tiger.
<Down10> She falls onto a big, fluffy pile of feathers
<tieboy> maybe she's a sparkly android
<spinn> no, she just keeps flying and flying until she lands gently in New York, where she moves in with a Swede and a gay Armenian for a series of madcap friend adventures

And what the hell is the big deal with "comfort level," anyway? Why on Earth would you rent Saving Private Ryan for your warm fuzzies? It's like one of the big deals made about Bill Gates' house (either his or The Home of the Future, I forget which): big, art-sized LCD panels in frames that change to art you like when you pass by them, depending on your user preferences. Well screw user preferences. I don't want my art to be comfy and non-challenging. The whole point is to expose the viewer to something new. I see no point in renting Memento and starting up MovieMask because I find it too "icky". I wonder if MovieMask will put Memento in chronological order for me too, because I might find the reverse order too distressing.

<tieboy> okay. pepsi must just be them showing off
<tieboy> only explanation
<tieboy> ONLY. ONE.
<spinn> but of all the ways to show off though
<tieboy> ONLY. EX. PLUH. NAY. SHUN.
<spinn> if they changed pepsi to coke, now
<spinn> no, no, that would tip their hand and reveal their evil

And don't get me started on The Princess Bride again, or I'll just be repeating myself, but louder and with more burst blood vessels. Heathens.

Still, I have to give them some credit for subtlety. They got Larry King to sit on Trilogy's board of directors, and the demo ends with him giving an endorsement for MovieMask. More than anything else I had seen, his clip made me eager for their software: I was wishing for a working copy so I could mask out the image of King nearly getting a handful of his granddaughter.

<tieboy> gah, can i please cover larry king with a laser larry king
<tieboy> gad, that chick actually fucks Larry King. Euurrrgggh
<Down10> Tie: I doubt it. Hs probably only shoots talcum powder anyway
<spinn> heheheh
<spinn> " it is, honey...ungh!" >fooof<

Though the MovieMask site no longer exists, the curious can follow these links to view some traces that still remain:

The Wayback Machine's archive of several MovieMask site incarnations
Google search on MovieMask
YouTube search on MovieMask demo (assuming the site still exists when you read this)

Contributed to this story:

Daniel M. Laenker



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