As I was walking on the treadmill Saturday, my legs were getting really tired, but then I hit my second wind. I don’t think I’ve ever even had a second wind until then.

I’ve done a lot of complaining about my weight over the last year or so, but despite my daily strenuous whining regimen and griping reps, the weight would still not come off. About a month ago that changed; I’ve seriously curtailed extranneous eating, somehow developed the willpower to disregard snacking during the workday, and have been taking advantage of our treadmill. People say things like “it’s easy to lose weight, you just have to decide to do it.” That’s true and false. Yes, making the decision is easy — but you have to get to a point where it’s possible to make that decision, and that’s not so much. I finally did, and now I am.

I was really pushing over the edge of “the heaviest I’ve ever been” and was getting grumpier because of it. And occasionally buying a self-hating bag of mini Reese’s peanut butter cups and finishing them off in three days. (Reese’s are my major junk food weakness. Well really, peanut butter is my weakness, but wrapping it in chocolate makes it a flavor delivery system that my body turns directly into dopamine.) But I kicked that habit through sheer willpower so far and haven’t had a Reese’s since. I had been in the habit of hitting the vending machine for a candy bar after lunch, but I haven’t done that, either.

The interesting part will be to see if I can maintain this down to my target weight. I’m 205 now, and throughout my life I’ve pretty much hovered around 200. I’d like to get down to 180, but the previous pattern has been that I lose weight until I get back down to the mental image I have of myself, and then lose interest. But I haven’t seen 190 for maybe a decade, and even then it was only temporarily. I’d like to try to see 180 once just to see if I can.

This all goes towards my longer-term goal: once I get to that weight, I figure it’ll be good to keep in the exercising habit. So when/if I hit 180, I’ll buy myself a bag of Reese’s mini peanut butter cups and spend the rest of the week working it off.

I left a trap for a really high-strung woman at work. Can’t wait til she comes over to my desk all flustered and apologizing.

Debb and I went to Costco a few weeks ago and bought a box of Chex Mix bars to have as snacks; we’re both working on losing weight, and keeping bad stuff out of the house, but these were 130 calories each and we’re not anti-snack-food commies. But we weren’t enjoying them, they’re too salty and generally unpleasant, but we’re also cheap and have difficulty not eating something we’ve bought. But in the end we decided to eat the loss instead, and I took the box to work to let the locust swarm take them.

And take them they did…there were about 30 in the box and they lasted for just over 24 hours. But just before they all went, I put up a sign. Sorry about the crappy pic, I had to borrow someone’s cellphone.

<spinn> I’m pretty sure if obama made them all magically shit money they’d complain it itches