I got drawn into a Microsoft ad for The “Mojave Experiment”. Basically it goes like this: they ask (supposedly non-actor) people what they think about Vista, and they generally get the response oh it sucks, all my friends say it sucks, I haven’t really used it yet but it sucks. Then the interviewers say, okay, we got this new operating system we’re working on, Mojave. Have a look, what do you think?
They do, and wow they are floored. Hey this is just what I need, when can I buy it, this does everything I ever hoped and dreamed and more. And then — whoahey fooledja! This isn’t “Mojave” at all, it’s Vista! OMG no way I’m telling all my friends!
Aside from the fact, as Debb pointed out, that the problems with Vista wouldn’t be immediately apparent — yes, it’s a pretty interface, and if you have a knowledgeable tech guy walking you through a gloss of the fancier features, of course it looks wonderful — I am just entertained by the baseline start of this campaign. “Okay, people hate us. We know it. you know it. But hey let’s trick you into thinking we’re good anyway!”
Goes in the “no way of telling whether this is for real or not” pile, but I want to believe it is.
fred our anniversary’s coming up let’s make a video to send it to your dead eyeballs with an infinite emptiness behind them [stare into the vacuous existence we all share in this vale of tears]
You know how someone makes a cheesy remake of a childhood show or cartoon (I’m thinking the Grinch movie here), and someone says “they’re raping my childhood”?
Well, now, through the miracle of modern technology, your childhood memories can be pre-ruined for your convenience.
<spinn> so there’s a guy, john gilmore, who’s running for senate in virginia
<spinn> he just put out an announcement video on the youtubes
<spinn> generally being hailed as a flop by liberals, but whatever. but here’s the first sentence
<spinn> These are challenging times for our country. We’re threated by terrorism, concerned about a difficult war, stuck in traffic, dissatisfied with how our children are educated, and too often our culture seems more interested in the latest doings of tabloid celebrities than the debates that could decide our country’s future.
<spinn> which one of those things is not like the other
<raven> Obviously *someone* doesn’t commute.
<spinn> yeah but!
<spinn> I mean shit your right-out-the-gate mission statement
<raven> heh
<raven> “That’s my top five there!”
<spinn> TERRORISTS! WAR! THAT FUCKING INTERSECTION AT LAWRENCE AND KIMBALL!
edit: comments on that page indicate that “traffic” is actually a hot Virginia issue. Still reads weird from the outside, though.
The United States Government must regulate government sleepers and government regulations authorized thought, ideas, acts, actions, rights, wrongs, controversies, facts, issues and circumstantial evidence through intelligence research, law research, law enforcement research and criminal law research implementing ROTC communications research innovating education national and international.
There’s a region of Russia, Ulyanovsk, where they’re giving couples time off tomorrow so they can go home and fuck. If they have a baby in nine months, on June 12, they get a chance to win valuable prizes:
I’m going to Starbucks just north of Chicago, and as I walk in the door I notice a wash of orange: there are eight Tibetian monks sitting in a group at two tables. One of them is talking on a cellphone.
blackvipersrelm: someday I’ll learn how to stop and start time.. well.. stop and start my movement in time… that will be the day.. uh.. instant.. uh.. point in time.. uh.. whatever… I’ll get sooo much sleep at that point
spinn: heh, yeah. but that’s a little dangerous
spinn: (I have actually thought about the implications of that)
blackvipersrelm: what implications? I would simply become disconnected from reality as most know it
spinn: if you could stop time to sleep, and got into the habit of doing it, you’d subjectively age 1/3rd faster than everyone else
blackvipersrelm: hm… interesting.. so I would have to not only learn how to stop it, but also how to move within it, so I could go forward and get injected with nano-tech to keep repairing my body, so I may be older, but be in better shape than those younger
spinn: well if you’re just gonna invent things
blackvipersrelm: nah, someone else will
spinn: but if you just wanna talk time travel, sure.
blackvipersrelm: or that’s the hope
spinn: then sleep isn’t the variable, if you just inject yourself with Deus ex Machina(TM) brand nanobots
blackvipersrelm: so if I went forward, would I be able to ..
blackvipersrelm: huh
blackvipersrelm: that’s a good idea
spinn: well, you make your days 32 hours long, then you age faster from everyone else’s point of view
spinn: or you stop time to sleep, and then skip forward in time to catch up
spinn: in which case you might as well stop bending the laws of the universe and just get some sleep
blackvipersrelm: yeah, but they’d all be wrong, they’d all be aging at the wrong rate from my view
spinn: if nothing else, a mattress is much cheaper than your own pocket universe
blackvipersrelm: but who has the time?
blackvipersrelm: the pocket universe might buy you that
spinn: heheh
spinn: I think each pocket universe comes free with a mattress, actually
blackvipersrelm: nice
spinn: they understand the needs of today’s go-getting time traveller
blackvipersrelm: so I should try and get that created before the end of the day.. before I get on my flight.. perhaps I should also get a char-dog. Those things are good
spinn: snkkkt
spinn: SHOPPING LIST: [ ] Pocket universe [ ] Time-travel device [ ] Char-dog
blackvipersrelm: heh
blackvipersrelm: wonder what store carries those
blackvipersrelm: maybe something in the duty free
Been a while. My leisure time is being split between World of Warcraft and getting SpinnWebe back online. Admittedly WoW is in the vast majority of that pie chart, but things are actually getting done.
In the meantime:
<agto> have I introduced you guys to the world’s worst metal band?
<agto> http://www.cockandball.de/media.htm
<agto> I so love them
<agto> dude’s voice sounds like a clogged toilet
<agto> http://www.cockandball.de/media/cbt_tampont.mp3
<spinn> gahahahah holy shit
<spinn> you are totally not kidding about him sounding like a clogged toilet
<SeanQ> wahahahaha
<SeanQ> shit, I’ve paid admission to listen to bands like this open for my brother in law
<SeanQ> except this guy has the whole reverb thing PWN3D
<spinn> it’s like there’s a big, basketball-sized frog on stage
<SeanQ> spinn, if you make it to the second verse, it sounds like the clog breaks
<agto> that’s supposed to be scary and threatening by the way
<SeanQ> he sounds like an ewok that fell down a cistern
<spinn> well it /is/ scary and threatening. I freakin hate getting the toilet clogged
<spinn> if the backup singers sounded like dripping water in my basement, I’d be shitting myself
Unconnected to my last post, though I’m sure it looks like it must be: the first panel of today’s Scribs actually happened, the second only happened in my head, and it diverges sharply from reality from then on.
There’ve been plenty of The Onion ripoffs over the years, but thanks to a link yet again provided by Bob, I’ve only now noticed Lark News, which is a worthy Christian stories version of fake news, and a whole lot funnier than that description makes it sound. They’ve been around for years, so I’m pretty late on this, but what the hell. They rise to the Onion’s level of humor and subtlety, which is rare for fake news sites.
Some of my current favorites are Little ministry bets big on Super Bowl ad and Iraqis glad to be free of Saddam, Chick tracts.
